c spanner Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 any help gladly accepted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jinxed Posted October 13, 2007 Share Posted October 13, 2007 What sad subject matter. I think that if that child was loved, respected, cherished and nurtured by their family, then however short their life may have been, they would have been happy and felt part of something very special. I think a parent can take a lot of comfort from that. From a practical perspective, I would also say don't suffer in silence. If you can't get the support you need from family and friends, consider talking to a professional councellor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator mervin Posted October 13, 2007 Moderator Share Posted October 13, 2007 very difficult one this, not having suffered this and hopefully will not i dont know if i can be much help, but after a major trauma recently i found talking to people and trying to get on as normal helps, try to find a forum or group that has been through this, merv Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator drewpy Posted October 13, 2007 Moderator Share Posted October 13, 2007 any help gladly accepted My prayers are with you at this difficult time. try to look back at the happy times together and try and talk to people in the same situation. The Samaritons are only a phone call away!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janlancs Posted October 13, 2007 Share Posted October 13, 2007 I just want to say how sorry I am to read your post and I wish I could help. I have no personal experience of losing a child although I do have a friend who went through this and found that counselling helped a lot. I don't think anything can prepare you for such an event, you must be devastated. If you haven't already done so, I would advise you talk to your GP first though. I do feel that I have some idea of what you are going through as I lost my husband only 3 months ago but as I said before, the loss of a child is something you do not think will ever happen. I really feel for you and wish you well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rescue76 Posted October 13, 2007 Share Posted October 13, 2007 In my profession I have had to be the bearer of bad news many times. I wish I could be with you to lend a shoulder. The loss of a child is unimaginable to anyone who has never raised a family. I have found in the past that freindship is the best healing. Dont keep it all inside, I will be the first to admit that I have cried myself to the point of no sleep for days due to things I have seen and had to do. A child I believe is the ultimate innocence, there can be nothing but greatness awaiting them in heaven. May god touch your heart and give words of comfort in your time of despair my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GirlieRider Posted October 15, 2007 Share Posted October 15, 2007 Cherish your memories and talk about them, and your lost child, often. Perhaps consider some grief counselling and if you're in the UK and you have other children look up Winston's Wish Web site Click Here they can be incredibly helpful. Above all else don't be afraid to cry and allow yourself time. You will never forget them but the raw pain will ease to something just bearable and then you can keep your memories close for ever. Luv and prayers to you and yours. Amanda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markandjen Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 Hi Just to reiterate what others have said - I'm sure everyone's thoughts who read your post are with you. When we lost our daughter, you don't know what to do or what to say. You also don't think anyone else has been through that experience so feel alone. As others have said, turn to the ones you love for friendship and support or speak to agencies like the Samaritans if that is easier for you but ultimately, allow yourself (and partner or other children) time to cry and reminisce. You will naturally think "why has this happened to me / us" but then think of the good and happy times. It does get easier but birthday's, christmas, etc bring it all back but it is important to try to move on with your life and don't feel guilty about it. For us, we have a nine year old also (he was was almost five at the time) so we had to be sure he was OK. We still talk about her and I buy flowers on the anniversary of certain dates for my wife. When my wife is having a bad day she then thinks of all the other bad things aswell though!! Hopefully, whatever we have all said on here, you will deal with it in the best way for yourself. You will find the right person / people to speak to you and whether it takes months or years, you will reminisce on the good, happy memories and you will smile and laugh to yourself. All the best. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquila Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 any help gladly accepted No-one should have to out-live their child and your loss is all-the-more poignant at this time of year. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. The only crumb of comfort that I can offer is that you obviously have spiritual strength beyond the norm in posting to this community for succour and support and it will be from among your closest people that the support will come to help you through this awful time. I fear to admit that I am an Atheist in the common sense, but I do believe in the power of my fellow human's determination to overcome the most terrible adversities. My humble thoughts are with you and I hope you will draw strength from them... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatsernamexhayz Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 any help gladly accepted this must be a very horriable time for you and im so sorry for your loss, I lost one of my good mates on the 26th august, he was a rider of a sachs, and one of the best riders ive ever met Just over 3months and im still learning to cope with it, so god knows what it is like for you, I have now found a comfort of remember the things of my mate which made me smile, which made a difference in my life, Just fink of all the great things yr child did and be grateful for the time that you spent with him, Just as you liked seeing your child happy, they would want you to be happy, live life to the full for the both of you The pain mite never go away but remember one day you will see him agen, im no God person but I have that hope which keeps me going when I fink about the mate I lost, Hope this helps and my thought go out to you and your family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedblock80 Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 I lost my 17 year old son just over 3 years ago and the short answer is i dont know how you deal with it,in the last 3 years the things that have kept me busy are the things that have helped me cope with life and thats my bikes,my football but most important of all my very good friends. None of us can really tell you how to deal with it,not even me and i'm living with it every day,i think we all deal with things differently,but if you ever feel that you need help then dont do what i did and let it bottle up,go to the doctors and seek some help or advice from them or at least talk about your problems with someone you know and trust,for me it came from within cos i knew i could'nt give in as i have 3 more kids to look after so have to keep going even when i'm at my lowest. Be as strong as you can on your own but as i say,when it feels to tough,get some help. Dave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator YamaHead Posted December 30, 2007 Moderator Share Posted December 30, 2007 I lost my 25y/o son almost 3 years ago now ..... TBH, he's probably the guilty party for over half the grey hairs on my head But I also had some of the most FUN times in my life with that guy ........Riding DirtBikes....Skiing.....etc. I still get to see him (so to speak) in my GrandKids that he left behind....which is a HUGE plus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator mervin Posted December 30, 2007 Moderator Share Posted December 30, 2007 Hey guys thinking of you at this time of year, remember both these events clearly from the posts on the RD forum Happy new year Especially to Scott and Dave Merv Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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