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25 ways to impress a girl


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25 WAYS TO IMPRESS YOUR GIRL

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this

will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness

(or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she

cries.

This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls

are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she

is say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This

will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be

her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and

every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when

she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because

jewellery is for pussy's and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she

is, stare into her eyes mouth the words fcuk you and grab the other

girls arse.

Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she

thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire

yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and

now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When

she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean

over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those

special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket...

then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you

don't stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching

about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the

bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the

party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the

party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.

Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10

minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home

and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her

self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep

down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes,

earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the

pair.

This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt

and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy

that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a

spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on

it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking

about.

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no.

This way she'll think you're mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her

material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is

that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she

can ever get.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just

whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know

she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the

present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this

one that much but I think it's funny.

25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will,

promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This

will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call

you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really

excited. Now don't call.

That's also quite funny.

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  • Admin

Come on VMAX Girl spread some light on this you should be a pro ;)

What would impress you? apart from a new bike B)

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How to impress a girl - my ten entries.

1. Sit in a bar licking your eyebrows.

2. Say "Am I glad to see you, or did I just put a wallet stuffed with £50 notes in my jacket pocket?"

3. Wear a diving suit and hold a sign saying, "Come and talk to me, I'M from a different planet." (Note: this may or may not not impress her, but a lot of people will point you out).

4. Put a bumper sticker on your brand new Porsche that says "My other car is a clapped out old Metro with a noisy exhaust".

5. Give her some little trifling present such as a 75 foot yacht.

6. When introduced to minor Royals, say "Oh, you lot are new money, then?"

7. Tell her you went to an East London comprehensive (for all you Yanks, read an East St Louis High School) but didn't let it prevent your success.

8. Show her the scars you got from doing routine bike maintenance and say, "Right, you've seen them now so we don't have to mention them ever again - I don't like talking about Afghanistan, OK?".

9. Ask her if she has an uglier sister at home so that you and (insert name of pop star here) can double date.

10. When taking her out to dinner, have the waiter bring a bottle of wine to your table with a note on it purporting to come from your admiring fans.

None of the above ever seemed to work for me.

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