mike1949 Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 One day the “man of the house” came down for breakfast before going to work and found his wife in tears. “What on earth is the matter with you?” he said. “It's alright for you” she said, but you don't have to look after the twins ( 2 boys aged 10 called Jimmy and Johney). “I'm so embarassed when I take them out, they are always fighting and their language is terrible. They are always effing and blinding it and even more stronger swear words. I just can't cope any more...... I NEED YOUR HELP!” “Right said hubby, when you get them up for breakfast, as soon as the first one swears. Hit him, and I mean hit him. Just grab hold of the first thing that comes to hand and hit him with it really hard to an inch of his life, he won't do it again and his twin will take note and realise that he won't swear again. Anyway, when “the hubby” had gone she went to the bottom of the stairs and shouted “Jimmy, Johney, get yourselves down here now for breakfast, NOW” After they came down fighting and tumbling and they sat at the dining room table, mum said, “right Johney, what do you want for breakfast?” Johney said, “I'll have fucking cornflakes!” That was it, mum lost her rag and grabbed hold of the nearest thing she could find which was a cast iron frying pan and started beating him over the head with it, bearing in mind that she was furious with him, when he was semi-concious she chucked him in a corner of the kichen. “Right Jimmy, what do you want for breakfast?” Jimmy replied............................................. “Well I aint having fucking cornflakes!!” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dt502001 Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 LOL did you remember to slap your kid in the back of the head for the things they did,,( just say that's for what you did ,,,we will talk about it later),, that you don't know about yet today? Trust me it works they own up to shit you wouldn't know about! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike1949 Posted August 2, 2014 Author Share Posted August 2, 2014 Blimey DT, Jimmy and Johney are only fictional. I never slapped my kids, especially on the head, My voice alone kept them in order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewElvisFan Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Same here - never slap mine. A cattle prod has always been enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sacha Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 No kids = no trouble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Blimey DT, Jimmy and Johney are only fictional. Hey I'm real, or am I. Maybe this whole thing is just a story in some futuristic version of a fairy tale Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhat250 Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 I had fucking cornflakes often ,when i was young,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wild foamy Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Tbh it was my old man that taught me everything I know about engineer, mainly words beginning with F and B 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dt502001 Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 Ok you kids never got slaped fine, I never beat my kids just a wake up call now and then ,,,,, with all the fucking little brats running around now ,,me thinks some of them could have used a slap now and then.. Might not be so many in reform school if the parents had done thier job in the first place,instead of sending them to school and let them sort them with no abilitly to inforce rules. My son is a good kid and I only have to look at him now and he knows what I mean . When we need to have a talk it is always no yelling alowed it a dissucssion I would never beat him that dosent work but a tap/slap in the back of head does. after all he is 14 and been in a few fights He can have fucking corn flakes or eggs for breakfest if he want's just depend's on how he say's it if he is in trouble. He knows better than to ask for things in certian company like that. To this I heard a good one the other day.......a guy standing in line a burger king had a kid screaming at his mother and kicking her for a apple pie in line behind him............. so when he got to order.... he orderd all 24 apple pie's they had and left with them all so the fucking little brat didn't get one LMAO 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewElvisFan Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 http://youtu.be/KL0zxK_aXWM 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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