June 7, 201311 yr Just started a new business - home colonic irrigation kits. Hope it takes off before we get a hose pipe ban!
June 7, 201311 yr Did you hear about the ex prostitute who got the sack from the sperm bank for drinking on the job? She then got a job at the butchers when a guy said "a pound a fillet" "a pound you fucking don't!" she says.
June 12, 201311 yr Author Pah, who needs safe jokes?, just as a bit of a guideline blank out the c-bomb,
June 12, 201311 yr Author Two nuns are driving down a road one day when all of a sudden the Devil jumps out in front of them. "Oh my goodness, quick sister mary!, get out and show him you're cross!". shouts sister Agnes "Alright" says sister Mary as she gets out of the car and runs up to the devil and smacks him on the nose "Piss of you nasty old sod!"
June 12, 201311 yr what do you call a one eyed dinosaur? doyouthinkhesawus what do you call a one eyed dinosaurs dog? doyouthinkhesawusrex what do you call a pedophile dinosaur? barney......
June 12, 201311 yr Author Did you hear about the thief that police caught stealing car batteries?... he got charged Police also caught a man trying to steal fireworks by eating them... they let him off
June 12, 201311 yr A vampire walks into a bar and asks the bar tender for a mug of boiling water The man returns with said water and says " I thought all you vampire types drank blood? " The vampire then pulls a used tampax from his pocket and replies " we do, I'm having a cup of tea "
June 12, 201311 yr A man walks into the doctors and tells the receptionist he's there to pick up results for his wife, mrs smith The receptionist types a few things into her PC and says, oh I'm sorry sir, we have 2 mrs smiths on file, one is bad news the other is really bad news What is it says the man Well one has Alzheimer's, the other has aids What should I do asks the man The receptionist replies, drop your wife off in the middle of town, if she finds her way home don't fuck her!!!!!
June 12, 201311 yr How to you turn a 2 millimetre hole into a 2 inch hole? Use a paedophile!!!! LMAO!
June 12, 201311 yr Pah, who needs safe jokes?, just as a bit of a guideline blank out the c-bomb, So I can't say why are Hondas like clitoris's Cos every c**t's got one
June 15, 201311 yr How do you confuse a gynecologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period its from. I filled in a job application for the local council and under disabilities I put Narcolepsy and Tourettes Syndrome.So not only will I be able to sleep at work, if someone tries to wake me up; I can tell them to fuck off. I was doing the wife a cup of tea this morning but she didn't want sugar because apparently she's 'sweet enough already'.You might want to think twice before eating that greasy, fat bacon sandwich then love.
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