lallasro Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 lol foamy in mankini look like a pianist in tails if we compare him with this... thing BTW, the Christmas is coming http://www.wizardfancydress.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9c347aac294f0602c9191d638d8113ef/3/4/34955.jpg Quote
Moderator mervin Posted October 26, 2013 Moderator Posted October 26, 2013 When i was in Poland , and had my Harley with me , i was often troubled by the fact that my mates looked cooler and faster than me due to all the squashed flies on their visors and headlights... Even at full speed on my Harley i was not able to keep up with the flies , let alone hit them , so i came up with a cool idea... I collected all the dead flies from the windowsill in my farm , then after giving my headlight and visor a coat of clear glue i then sprinkled on the dead flies... It worked , i was soon as cool as all the others... Try this handy tip yourself... Quote
welshwan Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 2 stroke POWER! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzOuMm4_tIg Quote
Moderator mervin Posted October 28, 2013 Moderator Posted October 28, 2013 A Bikers Story A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has seen the whole scene, and addressing the biker, says, " Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life. " "Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right. " "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's papers will have this on the first page. What motorcycle do you ride? "A Harley Davidson." The journalist leaves. The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the first page: BIKER GANG MEMBER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH 1 Quote
sniff6 Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 Ever wondered where your license fee goes ??? Quote
slice Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Sorry Sniff, got to 7 hours 53 minutes and 29 seconds and had to go for a piss, must have missed the interesting part while I was away? I suppose I could watch it again tho!!!! Quote
sniff6 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 Microwave Cooking with Sad Music "Hello Wildcats" !!!! Quote
Moderator mervin Posted November 4, 2013 Moderator Posted November 4, 2013 Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in Indiana, who were sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below... ~Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't s**t for two days because my ass was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.' Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!! Quote
sniff6 Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 Man sues wife over ugly kids and wins http://www.chicagonow.com/dad-all-day/2013/11/man-sues-wife-over-ugly-kids-and-wins/ Quote
AndrewElvisFan Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UJwN4QYcs7c&feature=youtube_gdata_player&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DUJwN4QYcs7c%26feature%3Dyoutube_gdata_player 1 Quote
slice Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Thank you Andrew I now have another use for SWMBO, just one thing tho, how much is a divorce nowadays????? Quote
AndrewElvisFan Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Lol now that all depends on the value of your mortgage!! Quote
sniff6 Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 Yikes!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q42MIEzVys#t=252 Quote
AndrewElvisFan Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Absolutely NOT directed at anyone on here lol Quote
Moderator drewpy Posted November 10, 2013 Moderator Posted November 10, 2013 Fool people into thinking you've got an E-cigarette by standing in a doorway & blowing sherbet out of a biro. 1 Quote
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