lallasro Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 anyone else happy because is over with page 20, every time I open this topic at pag 20, 4 eyes make me think I have big problems lol and not drewpy, not a fake, I know kids 9 years old who can do this
Noise Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Sorry Drewp its not fake, think listen to the engine, the noise changes as quick as the chopper dose so you'd have to be pretty f'ing good with a PC to match the speed of the movement with the change in the sound. Also look at these Skip to 0.40 secs And one For Kev!
Moderator mervin Posted October 4, 2013 Moderator Posted October 4, 2013 Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise. Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. Haynes: This is a snug fit. Translation: You will skin your knuckles! Haynes: This is a tight fit. Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! Haynes: As described in Chapter 7... Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox. Haynes: Pry... Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into... Haynes: Undo... Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (catering size). Haynes: Retain tiny spring... Translation: "Ping... what the hell was that? Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb... Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part. Haynes: Lightly... Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly". Haynes: Weekly checks... Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it! Haynes: Routine maintenance... Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be! Haynes: One spanner rating. Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to bugger it up? Haynes: Two spanner rating. Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, teeny,weeny number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you). Haynes: Three spanner rating. Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start. Haynes: Four spanner rating. Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you? Haynes: Five spanner rating. Translation: OK - But don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company!! Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this... Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Haynes: Compress... Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage. Haynes: Inspect... Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"! Haynes: Carefully... Translation: You are about to cut yourself! Haynes: Retaining nut... Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust. Haynes: Get an assistant... Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know. Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark pugs removed. Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs. Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal. Translation: But you swear in different places. Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs... Translation: Snap off... Haynes: Using a suitable drift... Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift! Haynes: Everyday toolkit Translation:RAC Card & Mobile Phone Haynes: Apply moderate heat... Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat. 2
slice Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Mervin, That MUST be GROUCH "one spanner" and I love the FABRICATE your own, been there done that got the scars to prove it!!!!!!!!!
Sacha Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 LMFAO!! Those were all too good! But my fav... Haynes: Retain tiny spring... Translation: "Ping... what the hell was that?
Katie1 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs... Translation: Snap off... I really wish that one wasn't so familiar...
slice Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Poor little sod!!! Detention for being right, what next?
AndrewElvisFan Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 This just made me laugh - I do want to point out though it is not directed at anyone in particular!! 2
AndrewElvisFan Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 I can't find what size engine this is, but it can only do 14mph! I wonder if they've tried putting a non standard exhaust on it?!? 1
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