Deer Santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer frend, Billy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.

How about I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read & write?

I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been a good girl all year, and the only thing I want is peace & joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my Mommy & Daddy to get back together.

Please see what you can do.

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your Dad's banging the babysitter like a screendoor in a Hurricane.

Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your Frigid, Fat Mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?

Santa

Dear Santa,

I left milk & cookies for you under the tree, & I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the shits & carrots make the reindeer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh.

You want to do me a favor? Two Words......Jack Daniels.

Santa

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the shits & carrots make the reindeer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh.

You want to do me a favor? Two Words......Jack Daniels. 

Santa

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my Mommy & Daddy to get back together.

Please see what you can do.

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your Dad's banging the babysitter like a screendoor in a Hurricane.

Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your Frigid, Fat Mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?

Santa

quality