Moderator mervin Posted June 4, 2011 Moderator Share Posted June 4, 2011 I sat there with a smile on my face as my girlfriend wrapped her hand around it and started to tug at it. An even bigger smile when she gave it a little wiggle and started moving it around. I couldn't contain myself when she started using two hands, so I eventually laughed out: "Here love, I'll change gear for you". --------------------------------------------------------- Andy Murray is to be sponsored by 'Pritt Stick'. Great on paper. sh*t on any other surface --------------------------------------------------------- I came home from work and my wife said, "I washed your England shirt for you today." I said, "What England shirt?" She said, "The red one that was in the frame on the wall. Whoever Bobby Moore is, tell him to stop drawing all over your clothes." ------------------------------------------------------- My wife told me that she's getting fed up of my boring facts. "I find them very interesting," I said. "Well, who gives a flying f**k?" She said angrily. "Dragonflies," I replied. -------------------------------------------------------- I've just been hacking into Sony. My PS3 kept crashing so I put my f**king axe through it. --------------------------------------------------------- I see Sting is fronting the new campaign to de-criminalise the possession of drugs... Strange really, you'd think he'd want to see more people with police records. -------------------------------------------------------- I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!' I thought, "That's just spam." ------------------------------------------------------- Max Factor mascara makes eyelashes appear three times longer? Max Factor should make condoms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barkwindjammer Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, Chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she Ain't spoke to me in over 2 months." Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over.............women like that are hard to find." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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