Moderator mervin Posted June 27, 2010 Moderator Share Posted June 27, 2010 TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland today after the entire country laughed itself to death. The alarm was first raised at around 4pm as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered. Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets. As RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture. Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of tennents. They seemed to be at peace." He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees. "It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over." Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 3:40PM "He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet." Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilninggas Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Apparently bouts of this mystery illness affect England 4 or 5 times per year, when a team in blue walk onto a field, which is sometimes called 'Hampden'. fortunately not many people in England are badly affected, as not many care about this footballing back-water in the celtic fringes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CORRIEBOY Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland today after the entire country laughed itself to death. The alarm was first raised at around 4pm as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered. Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets. As RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture. Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of tennents. They seemed to be at peace." He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees. "It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over." Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 3:40PM "He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet." Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers. Breaking News The plane returning the England football team has been diverted to Glasgow Airport where they are guaranteed a Hero,s welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barkwindjammer Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Some of us Jocks got to go out to South Africa, Angus MacBarsteward-inventor of the 'radio controlled ball', and also Jock 'twisty' MacDulux-the line painter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Cynic Posted June 28, 2010 Moderator Share Posted June 28, 2010 Hey look the england fans can relax they have finally got rid of the old coach. A brand new 2010 volvo is picking them up from heathrow..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Airhead Posted June 28, 2010 Moderator Share Posted June 28, 2010 Some of us Jocks got to go out to South Africa, Angus MacBarsteward-inventor of the 'radio controlled ball', and also Jock 'twisty' MacDulux-the line painter Class lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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