barkwindjammer Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 A woman goes into Harrods to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb test line. It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this week for £44." She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. "Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says. As the lady bent down to pick up the card, she accidentally farted. She was embarrassed by this but said nothing hoping no one noticed. The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be £58.50 please." The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for £44. How did you get to £58.50?" He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11 and the Fish Bait is £3.50." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JYA12R Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 That is management material! And they got him stuck in the back.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator mervin Posted March 2, 2010 Moderator Share Posted March 2, 2010 That reminds me of the blind guy that went for a job in a wood yard. at the interview he was asked how he knew what type wood he was selling if he could not see it he said i smell it so they thougt they would test him with a few offcuts first offcut under his nose he says norwegian deal he was correct second offcut japanese oak correct 3rd offcut african walnut correct the guy thought i will have him he went out and asked his secretary if he culd borrow her knickers waved them under his nose he said that is the shithouse door off a Grimsby trawler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barkwindjammer Posted March 2, 2010 Author Share Posted March 2, 2010 Good one Merv, definately worthy of one of these Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator mervin Posted March 2, 2010 Moderator Share Posted March 2, 2010 in the same vein A big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one would dispute that. Then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel and, if he could locate the bullet hole, he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks. So the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right. They brought him another skin from someone's car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk. Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one huge black eye. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it.. Where did I get this black eye?" His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed, put your hand down my panties, fiddled around a bit and then loudly yelled, "Skunk. killed with an axe." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barkwindjammer Posted March 2, 2010 Author Share Posted March 2, 2010 :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike1949 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 A gay bloke in a pub reconed he could tell what make and type of spark plug inserted into his rectum just by the feel of it. One chap goes to the car park and removes a plug from his car, comes back and gently inserts it into his rectum. "Thats a Bosch DR8BPX" Which of course was right. Another chap goes and gets a plug from his bike, comes back and inserts that one. "Thats an easy one, it's an NGK BPMR6A" Again he was right. "Right I'll have the little sod" another bloke says. "Lets see if you get this one right!" When the gay bends down he undoes his zip, gets his dick out and rams it right up his arse. "Oooh, CHAMPION" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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