Moderator mervin Posted November 19, 2009 Moderator Share Posted November 19, 2009 An Arabic family was considering putting their grandfather Abdullah in a nursing home. All the Arabic facilities were completely full so they had to put him in an Australian home. After a few weeks in the Australian facility, they came to visit Grandpa. ''How do you like it here?'' asks the grandson. ''It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful'', says grandpa. ''We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone.'' ''Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents'', Abdullah says with a big smile. ''There's a musician here-- he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'! There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him 'Your Honor'! There's a dentist here -- 90 years old.. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years and everyone still calls him Doctor?! And me --"I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'The Fucking Arab". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A platoon of soldiers was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was a British soldier in a similar but less serious state. The British soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the Platoon Leader asked the injured British soldier what had happened. The soldier reported, 'I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent.' We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved. He yelled back that George Brown is a bureaucratic, good-for-nothing, left wing labour dickhead who knows bugger all about running the country.' 'So I said that Osama Bin Ladin dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian!' He retaliated by yelling, 'Oh yeah? Well, so does Alastair Darling!!!' 'And, there we were, in the middle of the road, laughing, shaking hands, when a truck hit us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator drewpy Posted November 20, 2009 Moderator Share Posted November 20, 2009 loved the second one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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