vic-fzr600 Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 While I was driving down the A40 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied: "I'm late for work." To which he asked: "What do you do?" I responded: "I'm a rectum stretcher" The copper was surprised and confused : "A rectum stretcher, and just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work Side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet." Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously : "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied : "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge .." Speeding ticket: £105.00 Penalty Points : 3 Court costs: £45 Look on copper's face: Priceless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator DirtyDT Posted October 6, 2009 Moderator Share Posted October 6, 2009 Nice one It's a Sh*t job though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MalcolmX Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 LmAO thats classic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arrwanman Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Not too shabby lol....... spent a long weekend in the local cells once, after asking one off Strathclydes finest, why he was hiding behind a pillar with a radar gun, when there was rapists and junkies walking about. i was then told to be quiet or risk a breach of the peace charge. In retrospect,, calling him a stupid wee boy didn't help my cause... Many thanks to the turn key in Mill St nick Paisley.... the rolls in sausage were simply divine ha!!! £50 and a wrist slap... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepperami Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Very Very good i just hope i can remember that when i get pulled over for speeding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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