fence post tortoise

While stitching up the hand of a 75 year old Devon farmer, who cut it on a gate while working cattle, the rural doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to Gordon Brown and his appointment as Prime Minister.

”Well, you know, drawled the old farmer, this Brown fellow is what we in Devon call a fencepost tortoise.”

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a fencepost tortoise was.

The old farmer said, “When you’re driving along a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top, that's called a fencepost tortoise.”

The old farmer saw a puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain:

“You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he definitely doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he is up there, and you just have to wonder what kind of idiot put him up there in the first place.”

I always called that a George Bush myself.

reminds of the corporate tree

A turkey is chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighs the turkey, "but I just haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replies the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecks at a lump of dung and finds that it actually gives him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reaches the second branch.

Finally after a week, there he is proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Unfortunately he is spotted by a farmer, who shoots him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.