This wife buys a pair of crotchless knickers in an attempt to spice up a dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.

At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ……. enough times till her husband says, ”Are you wearing crotchless knickers?”

“Yes,” she answers, seductively.

“Thank Christ for that. I thought the stuffing was coming out of the sofa.”

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A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach .

He had no arms and no legs

Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'

The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said 'Have you ever had a kiss?'

The man said 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third woman walked over to him and whispered in his ear 'Have

you ever been f*cked?'

The fellow looked up in amazement and said 'No'

well you will be when the tide comes in

Huh ? Maybe I'm just slow-witted

Lol last line for the guy on the beach should be "well you are now the tides coming in" love that joke haha

I knew I was missing something !

hmm wonder where that line went

very good