Moderator drewpy Posted January 22, 2009 Moderator Share Posted January 22, 2009 A very rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his friends and neighbours. He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his Mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating Prawns, oysters and BBQ and flirting. At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in..' The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc and kicking its ass, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff, like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail And flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor. The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell. Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a Goldfish. Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. Finally the host says, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.' 'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Colin. The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?' 'No thanks. I don't want it,' answered Colin. The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options? Again, Colin said no. Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you Want? Colin said, 'I want the bastard who pushed me in the Pool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Airhead Posted January 22, 2009 Moderator Share Posted January 22, 2009 .....................Colin said, 'I want the bastard who pushed me in the Pool Anyway, did I tell you the one about the snail?? A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail appears and says, "What did you do that for? " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gas up - Let's Go! Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Anyway, did I tell you the one about the snail?? A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail appears and says, "What did you do that for? " Recycling - it's the future !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator mervin Posted January 23, 2009 Moderator Share Posted January 23, 2009 PC non racist version just posted by Chris Wheal on XRV forum Too late to post the racially neutral version I suppose? A millionaire throws a party for his workers at his sumptuous mansion. After a few drinks he guides his staff to a giant pool, inside which two enormous sharks are circling. "I value valour before everything else," the millionaire tells his workers. "And I will give anything - and I mean anything - to any one of you brave enough to swim the length of this pool." His announcement is met with complete silence and the party resumes. An hour later, after several more drinks have been consumed, everyone is amazed to hear a huge splash. They all rush to the pool to see what's happened and, to their amazement, see Dave from accounts swimming as hard and as fast as he can for the other side. Against all the odds he makes it and, as he pulls himself out of the water, the millionaire rushes over to him and says: "You are the bravest man I know and I am a man of my word. What is it I can give you? Anything, just name it." Dave looks at him and says: "You can start with the name of the ******* that tripped me up." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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