Moderator mervin Posted January 21, 2009 Moderator Share Posted January 21, 2009 A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, 'You know what? 'You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?' 'What dear?' she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. 'I think you're bad luck... Get the f*** away from me ---------------------------------------------------------- >A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her > > Stammerers Action group. She had tried every technique in the book > > without the slightest success. > > > > Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said "If any of you can tell me > > the name of the town where you were born, without stuttering, I will > > have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your > > eyes > > water. > > So, who wants to go first ?" > > > > The Englishman piped up. "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham", he said. > > > > "That's no use, Trevor" said the speech therapist, "Who's next ?" > > > > The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out > > "P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-aisley". > > > > That's no better. There'll be no sex for you, I'm afraid, Hamish. > > > > How about you, Paddy ? > > > > The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out " London". > > > > Brilliant, Paddy! said the speech therapist and immediately set about > > living up to her promise. > > > > After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for > > breath and Paddy said > > > > > > "-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gas up - Let's Go! Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 They're OK, these are bad..... ------ How many honest, caring, sensitive men in the world does it take to change a lightbulb? both of them...... ------ A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail appears and says, "What did you do that for? " ----- Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? for throwing out the W's (think about it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Airhead Posted January 22, 2009 Moderator Share Posted January 22, 2009 They're OK, these are bad..... ------ A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail appears and says, "What did you do that for? " ----- Thats not bad, thats one of the best jokes im ever gonna tell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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