Jump to content

sniff6

Free
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    1,342

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    120

 Content Type 

Posts posted by sniff6

    ~~Daily Feed, post what made you laugh today ~~

    in Yamabyss

    Posted

    This Years Darwin Awards Are out !!!!!

    Yes, The Darwin Awards are out again It’s
    that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed,
    honouring the least evolved among us.





    Here is the glorious winner:





    1.When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
    during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot
    did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel
    and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.





    And now, the Honourable mentions:





    2.The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
    machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
    insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
    men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
    finger... The chef's claim was approved.





    3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
    during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
    had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.





    4.After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
    found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
    from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
    incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
    waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
    mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
    excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
    discovered for 3 days.





    5.An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
    wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
    injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
    close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.





    6.A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
    counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
    the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
    the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
    fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash
    he got from the drawer was $15. [if someone points a gun at you and
    gives you money, is a crime committed?]





    7.Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
    that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
    some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
    his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-
    be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window
    was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on CCTV.





    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
    grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
    woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
    Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
    the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
    the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
    yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."





    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
    Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 a.m. flashed a gun and demanded
    cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
    cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
    the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The frustrated
    gunman walked away.





    And Finally, the 5-STAR "STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER"





    10. When a man attempted to siphon fuel from a motor home parked on a
    Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained
    for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next
    to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the
    man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but had plugged his siphon
    into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.



    The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was
    the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!

×
×
  • Create New...