Random

dont know if anybody has seen this yet but its very very funny go to youtube " ultimate dog tease " brilliant

stolen from another forum: I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, ungrateful bleeders, all I said was, 'hurry up for christs sake, some of us have got homes to go to!' Christmas is like any other day for me, sitting at the table with a big fat bird who doesn't gobble anymore. Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting your bloody tee ready! Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching tv when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen, 'what you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?' I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken please' She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking t…

IF" Things go as the polls are saying , this could be the last night of Great Britain . Your thoughts ?

this is taking my username to extreams..

Just wondering what etiquette you all adhere to when passing another human being on 2 wheels. I'm still amazed at the friendliness of some bikers who would acknowledge you in the midst of a force 10 gale while others give the impression you've kicked their cat, stolen their wallet and slept with their wife! And what about those mopeds ? Do they ignore us bikers out of fear or some odd inverted snobbery ????

A retired guy sits around the house all day so one day his wife says, "Barry, you could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week". The guy gives it a moment's thought and says, "Sure why not. Show me to the vacuum". Half an hour later, the guy comes into the kitchen to get some coffee. His wife says, "I didn't hear the vacuum working, I thought you were using it"? Exasperated, Barry answers, "The stupid thing is broken, it won't start. We need to buy a new one". "Really", she says, "show me - it worked fine the last time". So he did videos.files.wordpress.com/Xblfe4qf/retired-vacum-cleaner_dvd.mp4 nicked this from 2 strok…

A typical family on a Sunday evening, Mum doing the ironing, Dad reading the paper in his favorite armchair and the son doing his homework. All of a sudden the boy says. “Mum, how do you spell vagina?” Mum went all flustered and embarrassed and said. “I don't know, spelling isn't my favourite subject, you had better ask your dad.” So the boy said “Dad, how do you spell vagina?” To which his dad replied. “Hang on a minute there son, hang on, don't say anything, hang on, hang on” “No sorry son, but it was on the tip of my tongue last night.”

One Saturday morning when Father O'Donnel was walking down the high street and the vicar was walking towards him, he said "Good morning, vicar" The Vicar just walked straight past him without saying a word. "Excuse me, Vicar" Said Father O'Donnel, but I just said "Hello" "I'm so sorry" said the vicar, but I am so depressed because somebody has stolen my bicycle, the one that I use to get around to see my parishioners, and I don't know what to do without it. "Right", "Next time you take Mass, recite the ten commandments, " When you get to ""thy shall not Steal"" " Look up from the Pulpit and you will see the guilty face" Anyway, two weeks later When they me…

********* EVERYONE BEWARE OF THIS LATEST SCAM*********** In ASDA whilst packing your shopping into your car you may be approached by two fit looking Eastern european girls wearing only tee shirts and shorts.They approach with a bucket of warm soapy water and just start washing the windscreen of your car whilst you sit inside.They intentionally rub their wet torsos against the windscreen as they work,which can be quite distracting,but thats the ploy. When they finish instead of monetary payment they ask for a lift to the next nearest ASDA.if you agree they will both jump into the back seat of your car and during the journey will perform sexual acts ,firstly the perf…

YAMAHA please help i wasn't able to receive the YAMAHA KIT, i registered in https://www.yamahaclub.com.ph/ last August i think to avail the YAMAHA KIT the package was expected 2-3 months after 3 months still i no package was arrived and i wonder that i wasn't able to receive thru the cause of typhoon YOLANDA. Last week if January someone call at my phone she said that shes form YAMAHA Manila she ask me if i received the YAMAHA KIT i said none she said that there's a problem with the delivery of LBC she said that shes gonna send it again to me expected on first week of February but until now still no package arrived. PLEASE HELP ME. THANK YOU (Mod edit, cynic) …

that's me, foamy and Kev of course http://www.singitkitty.co.uk/play/EqRkg

What a brilliant day its been eh, dunno what its like 'darn sarf' or over the watter-but its 24c up here right now and not too comfortable , no breeze at all, I'm sitting in a bath of cold water right now NURSE !

Have you seen the wide forecast,,,We [ uk] are getting tons of rain, All coming from North America , Huge cold area meets warm front in Atlantic, forming deep low pressure, sucking up water off atlantic , and dumping it here,,,,, I blame DT50 and felix , running round on them 4 strokes. get a sensible bike,,

Lovely weather this week, were out on bikes most nights , hers a loch just 10miles up the road,

I came home from work tonight, as I came through the front door I noticed a parcel in the hall. The mrs shouts what have you been buying now! I said fork oil, she said well you must have ordered something!

I took my helmet off and walked around town today. People kept giving me sweets. What's going on?