You Sir, are an absolute fuckwit.
Sitting in VERY slow traffic through Matclock Bath centre heading towards the top car park you were behind me.
We were moving extremly slowly as it was very busy yesterday, then you - in your infinite wisdom decided you wanted to pass me on my INSIDE.
You could not have gone anywhere because the traffic was so slow.
You had already undertaken 2 of my friends that were behind me and whilst trying to undertake me you decided to have a chat on your fuckin mobile phone.
I saw you when you pushed the front of your car level with my knee. I was sitting in the command position in the road ie the fucking middle so what made you think you could get up my inside is beyond me - had i not seen you, i have no doubt you would have taken me off.
Upon stopping my bike in the middle of the road and getting off, you got off your fuckin phone and looked as me as blankly as your 3 stupid mates in the car as i gave you a mouthful. It was only when my OH and my 4 other friends gave you the same did you apologise - you weren't even aware of what you had done.
So Mr Clio-driving-chavtastic-asshole-fuckwit-mobile phone-using car driver
I hope i never come across you again, because believe me , i soooooooo regret not dragging you out of that car and pasting your sorry ass.
Rant over.
(and breathe)