1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look".
Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? My god they need their arses kicking!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?".
No you moron, I paid £8 to come to the cinema and stare at the fekking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'.
Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short".
WTF? Life is the longest thing anyone every bloody well does! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?".
If the bus came would I be standing here, you bloody numpty!
10. When im in Asda and someone i know says "Alright - what you up to Goff" - FFS!!! I am doing my friggin shopping! Does it look like im Bungy Jumping or something?
Im sure theres a lot more - im having one of those days today.........