Noddy Holder is going back on the road with Slade and visits a 70s style clothes shop to get his stage costume together. ‘So what will you need, Noddy?’ asks the salesman. ‘A pair of platform boots. Pair of flared trousers. Big glittery hat. And a shirt with a big collar,’ says Noddy. ‘Kipper tie?’ asks the assistant. ‘Oh ta very much,’ says Noddy. ‘Milk and two sugars.’
or
White van man to pedestrian:
S'cuse me mate does yow now if there's a B & Q in Wolverhampton?
Pedestrian:
Sorry mate oi don't, but I nows theres 2 D's in Dudley.
Jonathan Ross has been nicked for shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
He said it was a whisk he was pwepared to take.