KirriePete

John, get him to ring Ned & H, £120 all-in including bike hire and you know he'll get proper training, whichever one of us is doing the shouting instructing.

Danboy, as Slice has said it's good to get an intro first. Dipstick on the final drive box, it's been a few years since I had mine, but as I recall there's no such thing, you just fill up the box with gear oil until it dribbles out of the filler hole, job done. ... and the lovely Dutch people over at CMSNL agree with me - Clicky link to XS750 final drive fiche You're welcome, now get that intro up, there's a good chap!

Teeth in or out?

Direct Access is definitely the way to go ..... however, assuming you're doing it the sensible way and not having a one week 'crash' course, buying a cheapo 125 for practice (and transport) in between lessons would be a good idea. You should be able to pick up a reasonable old putt-putt for 3-400 notes, run it while getting through your test then sell it on to the next learner for about the same as you paid for it. As for what to run after your test, bear in mind that you'll be doing your test on a 650 (or bigger), so you should have enough feel for the bike to take on something of a similar size and power level - I wouldn't recommend a supersports machine at first, too sensitive to rider inputs and more likely to spit you off if you get it wrong. You'd be better off with more of an all-rounder like a Fazer, Bandit, Hornet, ER-5/6, that sort of thing, much less likely to bite you in the arse if your machine control gets a bit marginal, but still more than capable of giving you that ear-to-ear grin. Whatever you go for, to paraphrase what others have said - "It's the nut holding the handlebars that dictates the speed of the bike". Enjoy!

Ride one all the time following my CBT trainees around Dundee, they're smooth enough if they're set up properly. The most likely suspect is out of balance carbs, one of our training bikes ran like a tractor until I put my balance gauge on it (stick, fish tank tubing, ATF) - there was a whole foot of ATF difference between the two sides, got it down to under half an inch and the bike was sooooooo much better. It's possible it might even have restrictors in the inlets, a lot of these were sold to 33bhp licence holders and may never have had the washers taken out of the inlets. Tell the dealer the motor seems shagged coz of the way it's running and get him to knock something off, then sort it in half an hour or less, you'll have a good all-rounder for not a lot of money.

Could just be the plug breaking down under pressure - you could try swapping plugs around to see if the problem moves. Or .... has Groucho been round your way lately?

1. Pop over to the cunningly disguised New Members Welcome Area and give us a decent intro, you tend to find folks here are a lot more giving of the info if they know you a bit better and you're not a "One question then bugger off never to be seen again" type of bod. 2. Chains stretch in use, your CBT should have at least mentioned this in passing (Element B, basic checks....). You have got adjusters either side of the rear wheel at the back to take up this slack. First loosen off the rear axle a bit then use the adjuster nuts to bring the chain back to the right tension (about an inch of free play in the middle of the bottom run) - remember to turn the adjusters on both sides of the wheel the same to keep the wheel in line. Once you've got the tension set, just tighten up the axle nut again and give the chain some lube to finish off. If you run out of adjustment and the chain is still too loose, it's fecked and should be replaced (change the sprockets at the same time as you'll only wear out the new bits even faster otherwise). 3. Welcome!

The white stuff they slop all over the bead is tyre soap which helps them to slip over the rims, they ain't glued on. Should be a doddle on the wee tyres the DT80 carries, just use a decent set of tyre levers (don't pinch the spoons out of the cutlery drawer!) and mind you don't nip the inner tubes in the bead. You could make life easier with a drop of washing up liquid on the beads just to help them slip over, but there is a school of thought that doesn't like what the salt content of that stuff can do to the rims, I've never had a problem with it in the past is all I can say.

If it's the hole on the bottom of the pipe it's meant to be there to drain condensation.

If you're looking for anti-mist (over in your part of the world that's a good idea!), then anything with a pinlock is good. As for makes - my "instructors hat" is a Caberg, comfy, light, good pinlock, but wind noise is an issue (to say the least!), my "playtime hat" is a Shoei, much quieter, still with pinlock and just as comfy. Don't like Sharks, their shell shape doesn't work with my head, but then nor do AGV or modern Bells (loved my old Bell Tourstar though!). Just remember to try on as many hats as you can, and wear them around the shop for a while - if it starts nipping after 5 minutes it's gonna be agony after an hour or more on the bike.

Why not just sort the one you've got - sounds like it just needs a cleanup of the piston and new seals. Worst case scenario is new piston as well - stainless steel one with seals about £35 from WEMoto. To get the old piston out, just refit the caliper, bleed the brake and use the hydraulics to push it out - or you could fit a bleed nipple adapter to a grease gun and pump grease into the caliper, that should shift the bugger!

Why do I never get given bikes? You can ride for 2 years on a CBT, regardless of what bike you do your CBT on (yes, you can do it on a 50cc twist'n'go then jump on your 125). Then just do the Direct Access, the tests are the same, the cost of the tests are the same, everything's the same except you're on the bigger bike for lessons and the actual test. In between lessons you have the 125 to practice on, so you should be able to cut down on the number of lessons required which will bring your costs down. Clutch - before stripping it down, have you actually tried putting the bike into gear (engine running, a bit of throttle, brakes on)? If the plates are a bit stuck together then this may be all that's needed to separate them, that stickiness will be the weakest point in the drivetrain so it should unstick first.

Nope - the safety switches do one of two things - stop power getting to the starter motor in the first place (usually neutral/clutch switch) or stop power getting to the coil(s) so there's no spark. One way the starter doesn't spin at all, the other the engine turns over but doesn't fire. The link from the starter motor to the crankshaft is purely mechanical - you've examined the gear wheel on the end and that's OK, the bike starts and runs fine on the kicker, so all that's left is the starter clutch assembly, as I said a couple of posts back. You press the button and all you get is "Whizzz", not "Whirr, chuff, chuff", correct?

If it's not catching and spinning the engine over I'd say the starter clutch is borked - the usual problem is that the rollers wear just enough so that they won't grip the driven half when spun by the motor - early signs of this are "Whizzz, CLUNK!", sounds like you're past that and now at just "Whizzz!" Simplest test is to get into the starter clutch and turn it both ways - one way should be an easy freewheel, the other it should lock instantly - any free play means it's done in. Dunno if you can just get a rebuild kit of just the rollers and springs or you'd need a whole assembly.

That pretty much covers it - there's enough drag from the oil in the clutch to pull the driven side round when it's cold. As the oil warms up and gets thinner this drag reduces and so the wheel stops turning. Richard Feynman time: take 2 discs of card on a couple of toothpicks and pop them into a bowl of treacle/golden syrup so they're facing each other but not touching. Turn one of the discs and the other should start moving as the syrup pulls on it. Now pop the syrup in the microwave until it's runny and do the same experiment - less or no turning.

Speedo cable broke on the NTV last weekend, was the 17 year old original so no real heartache but .... To replace it I had to remove the wee Puig flyscreen covering the clocks, undid the bolts OK but when lifting it off, as the tension was released from the clamps the plastic cracked around the mounting points (it's been friggin' cold here since forever so everything's brittle). Shed time - clean up the cracks with the Dremel and re-drill new mounting points, the screen now sits 1/2" lower, but that's fine. Put it all back together to find the speedo backlight doesn't - arse! Take it apart - gently - find the loose connection and sort it, put it all back together. Test everything, seems OK now. Front left indicator now decides it doesn't want to play - the bulb checks out alright, so there must be another loosened connection inside the headlight - the fact that the shell was never opened seems to have no bearing on the matter. This morning's snow shower has now stopped so I'll be back out there rummaging around in the wiring - wonder what vital connection will be pulled apart this time? Oh yeah, I'm getting a ticking noise from the front wheel I never had before, gonna be fun finding out what that is. Somebody please set up a quarantine zone around Grouch - there are plenty uninhabited islands off the west coast here, isolating him on one of them may just save the rest of humanity's mechanicals ........

So what do I win? Last time I won anything was a chain clean & lube set in a raffle, oh how I chortled at that! I came to the answer by utilising a part of my body not much in use in the general populace these days, namely a fully functioning brain. As for the sexual innuendo, showed the wife (red hair, big tits, married 27 years) and she wanted to know if the shaft on my bike was as big as my 'personal' one ...... ! Make that a decent beer, not one of those North American gnat's piss brews, something with a dead rat in the barrel would be appreciated. This highlights the problem we have with communicating by keyboard - in a pub situation we'd all know who was taking the piss and who was taking it seriously - I think it's safe to say no-one in this thread takes it seriously. Maybe we should institute a set of markers like the bold and italic formatters, something like [Pisstake] .... [/Pisstake]. (This post prompted by a nice salty 12 year old from Wick - not a Jimmy So-Vile moment, Google Old Pulteney if you must)

[Pedant] The only question there is : In which case the correct answer is "No". If you want us to complete the sentence (which isn't a question) then how about ... finish the surgery and hormones and be known as Mrs dt502001. [/Pedant]

Be careful with that oil can - if the cable is lined with nylon/teflon or similar you could feck it up as the lining can swell in reaction to the lube.

1. An intro in the New Members Area would go a long way to getting help - would you just walk into a club meeting in a pub and start asking questions without introducing yourself? 2. Vacuum - either the vacuum hose isn't sucking properly (Leaky? Missing?) or the tap internals are goosed. Switch the tap on and apply some suction to the take-off point and see what happens. Now, about that intro ......

Here y'go Slice, just remember to put the lid back on when you're finished.

Start off at "Ooooooff!" but don't go as far as "Ping! Fuckit!" (or pingphuquet in posh circles).

How often? How often do you use the bike? If it's in daily use through all weathers I'd say once a month, with a weekly check/wipe down/spray lube. If it's used less then do it less, but whichever way it's a case of keeping an eye on it and getting to know the signs... If the split link is removed properly it should last, remember you just want to push the spring clip forwards so it pops out of the seat. Even if it gets fatigued they're just pennies to buy, so no great heartache. The spray wax is good to use between baths, but it doesn't get deep into the links, only a good hot soak will do that. Your understanding is wrong - a shaft is the only civilised way to propel any reasonably sized bike, Yamaha even put one on the wee 80cc Townmate to make it the ultimate bomb-proof low maintenance commuter. The best chain drive I ever had was an MZ250 with the rubber enclosures filled with grease, 50,000 miles on one chain with only a couple of small adjustments, now that's how to do it!

O rings are great at keeping the lube in, but the rubber seals create friction in the chain that saps power, and when the seals go the chain is effectively borked, regardless of how much adjustment is left it's downhill rapidly from that point as the effected link wears rapidly. Non O ring chains are less fussy - when it gets mucky just whip it off and dunk in a bath of paraffin to clean it, followed by a drying session then a cozy bath on top of the cooker in some chain wax: In Ye Olde Tymes, a chain treated properly like this would last flippin' ages as the wax would get right into the links keeping everything supple. The fact that power outputs were a bit lower than modern hyperbikes may have helped somewhat, but on the XT I don't suppose you've got a surfeit of neck-snapping, chain-stretching torque on tap...... Alternatively, get a shaftie and forget grovelling around on your hands and knees forever.

Just make sure you do that in the right order ..... "Ring of Fire" anyone? Mined ewe, the other way could end up with some seriously smelly smoke ......