mike1949

That reminds me of a joke where a posh bloke driving a jag was overtaken by a skinhead on a scooter. "Bastard", thought the jag, I'll have him, so he undertook him doing 50mph. The skinhead overtook him again doing 60mph. "Bastard", thought the jag, I'll have him, so he undertook him doing 70mph. The skinhead overtook him again doing 80mph. "Bastard", thought the jag, I'll have him, so he undertook him doing 90mph. Anyway, this is enough of this copy & paste After the skinhead overtook him at 100mph the jag admitted defeat and pulled in to the left and waved the skinhead down. "I say old bean, I'm totally impressed with your motor, what size engine have you got in your scooter?" "Well gov, it's only a 125cc basic vespa engine, but I got my braces caught in your door handle"

Grasshopper, I have just come back from two glorious weeks holiday in East Sussex. The amount of bikers there were unbelieveable.

If it is to be new plates, I think you have to soak the new ones in oil overnight.

Maybe I'm shooting myself in the foot here, but after I finished work at 12 noon I went for a ride along the Fosseway. The road I was on was not even a B road, more of a country lane without any road markings. But because the Romans built their roads so straight I was doing 75MPH for about three miles, but because I was the only vehicle on that stretch of road I felt perfectly safe, more than if I were on the motorway.

Spot on Blackhat. Although petrol did stay at that price for a couple of years. I remember that the Government tried to put petrol up to £1.00 per gallon to include road tax so the more you travelled the more you paid, but the public (company reps?) objected so much that it was abolished.

Try introducing yourself first in the "New Members" section. Name ? Where from ? Interests ? M/F ? Bikes - obviously a 600n Then I'm sure you will get a few replies.

I know this won't mean much unless you live in Chippenham, but we are on the M4 corridor between London and Bristol. On the M4 the legal speed limit is 70MPH. Come off the M4 at junction 17 an head into Chippenham town centre and you travel along a dual carriageway for four miles. On this dual carriageway the speed limit is 70MPH. BUT. On this stretch of dual carriageway there are approx seven places where you can get in the outside lane and execute a U turn to go back to the motorway. If not a U turn at least cross the opposite carriageway. What am I trying to say? If 70MPH is OK in this situation, surely then motorways are more safer to do above 70MPH

In the seventies when I worked on the pumps, it wasn't self service. I went out to the pump, activated the pump handle, put the nozzle in his tank hole and filled him up, went back into the booth and took his money. If anybody else came in they waited till I finished with him. Can anybody remember the two gallon rationing? What a nightmare for me, I had them queing twenty cars back up the road at about eight o'clock at night when the rest of the staff had buggered of home for the night. (normally it was alright pre rationaling) We had four pumps which meant eight spaces. Pandemonium! They started filling their own cars up, BUT, over half way through they re-tripped the pump handle so only had to pay for a 1/4 of their fuel. And the price of four star was £0.75p per gallon Bastards!!!

For a minute there I thought that was my wife. But then I thought it can't be because she's in the front room with the lodger.

When you turn the ignition on when the bike is in neutral. "THE ONLY LIGHT THAT SHOULD COME ON IS THE GREEN NEUTRAL LIGHT"

This very elderly lady went to her local doctor and said. "Doctor, I'm having problems with my Averies" "No madam," Said the doctor " ladies have overies" "Yes I know, but I'm having trouble with my averies" "Ok" said the doctor, lye on the couch and I will sort you out. "Blimey madam, you might be right, you've certainly had a cockatoo up there!"

It sounds like there is disconnection between the starter button and the soleniod. When you turn the ignition key on is there a "click"? If not, then it is an electrical problem, if there is, it could be a starter motor/relay/solenoid problem.

Fowlers of Bristol do a second to none mail order and have a very huge range of genuine parts. 01179770466

has anybody got a key to my wife's chastity belt? she's dying for a p**s

What we are trying to say is, introduce yourself first. Name? obviously Dave Gender? obviously male Age? Where from? Interests? Bikes? Also, whats wrong with CTFC? or are you trying to wind me up as well

he could be after a "King and Queen" seat cover

"Buckingham Palace"

I'm with you now, It's just that I had to "jack up" my divvy today to get the front wheel off the ground to rotate it. Sorry about the pun but my name is Michael, not a lot of people know that.

Hi Alfie, whats it all about welcome to the forum What do you mean by a jack up kit?

A couple of years ago when "my wife and I" were going to the seaside, I drove there in her car (her car, me bike)and she drove back. On the way there she wondered why I kept pulling over to the left, "well dear" I said, "I'm letting the power rangers go past". When they went past they all raised their left hand to say thanks. That was it! On the way back when she drove, she pulled in to the left just to get a "thank you" from every biker. I suppose the moral is that politeness doesn't cost anything but makes everybody reciprocate.

Don't leave the juicy bits in mid-air, what happened next? Apart from the puncture that is.

Great intro oudou. brill pics as well. To make it a good intro just add a few more bits of info. Gender? (I presume male, because in your first photo you say. ( My first, after a good refresh in fact, for my wife) Age? Interests? Where from? (presumably France) No offence intended, but we do get a lot of time wasters on this forum, but my instincts is that you are not one of them.

Welcome to the forum FarfarLars You might have to explain to us non vikings what your name means.

Welcome Carol I don't know if you are aware but your profile states that you are male. Is there something that we should know?

Certainly Not! His minder stuck to him like shit to a blanket.