barkwindjammer

WTF ?, will have to wait til monday for the final episode of 'where's my sandwich' I pay my license fee without fail-I expect a better service than this, come on Aunty Beeb ! angry from Wetwang

Welcome to the 'ward' Kaz, a friendly place, lots of help, a club patch, we even have a club song (PM one of the 'moderators' for the lyrics and dance moves), and a full itenerary of events Arrrrr

Dont know if 'google' has a Scots-Murrican translater butt you can try this for a laugh "Furfuxake ya jammy bastert waur the fuk did ye get thame"

'Mupp mupp pfffff' a dandy accessorie old chap, why one could carry more passengers with such a device

LMAO , great find Drew

It might be, you can see him better riding that elephant on the adverts for 'the Dave channel' on tv

Why not split the journey up Dave, I've got a spare room and so has Blackie

Many happy returns Maverick wit ye aw aboot foamy bawz? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEx5QdaH568

Kenny the Rooster Well, Kenny the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny. The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk. I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle. Kenny seemed to understand, so the farmer pointed toward the Hen house and Kenny took off like a shot. WHAM!-Kenny nails every hen in the hen house- three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Kenny is in there. Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again - WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day, to find Kenny on his back, stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."Kenny opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer".

I was bitten by one of these wee 2%&ts when I was a youngster-still got the marks on my hand Hindsight is a great thing, I think if I encountered one now I wouldn't even try to attach springy clothes pegs to its arms

Oh, meant to say at the time Kev, what a brilliant post m8-something I wont forget-even if they give me all the small red smarties at the nursing home !-

:lol: Top find Merv !

Theres an airfield near Squires-how did we miss that ? 53°47'12.67"N 1°13'2.87"W on google earth you coud land your kite there Foamy

http://www.eyegas.com/sproutifarts/

Get a proper fetish Maverick-how about feet ?

Now who's gonna do a runner for £3.54? oh, now that we have a double dip recession coming our way, you might have a good point there SirDave, "Ice from the sea of tranquirity, rats on the moon"

eh ?, hows that Dave ?

And its us Jocks that are supposed to be tight

Paddy phones for an ambulance as his mate has been hit by a car the Operator asks where the accident is He says outside number 28 Eucalyptus road Operator says "how do you spell that sir"? the line goes quiet for 5 minutes the operator gets a bit worried then Paddy says "sorry about that- Oiv just dragged him to number 3 Oak st"

James in Atlanta will have his own take on this-over to you James

Katherine Chloe Cahoon,a great tip is to stop talking ! it drives the European** guys wild with desire **European is used here as a generic location-see google Earth for other locations that support 'shut it' apps

Totally mad ferret

Dear Amy so sorry, have sent this message to the wrong address, I meant to send it to Keira over at Logistics support, she has much bigger and firmer tits than you anyway, oh and coffee doesn't give her flatulance either Roy

That puts a new slant on things, I'll watch out for that Drewps and remember my left hand life savers

"Yer Maw" as Tam Cowan would say