barkwindjammer

Shiny Disco Balls

Well if there aint any left I suppose I could a: post you my bits to be blasted b: epoxy a De' vilbiss sprayer onto a "Weedol pathclear" bottle filled with sand c: fill my m8's BSA meteor air-rifle with sand (tedious) d: phone Aldi !

Aldi, its the Bogs Dollocks eh, not seen this yet, take it its just in OG, looks like a very usefull piece of kit m8, and mucho cheapness !

Dancette ( its a record player Foamy-way b4 ur time !)

Shit !

blanket on the ground

ps it looks like the start of an adventure you wont forget for the rest of your natural, to be sure' aye hhh

oh dear the "club-house" looks the part, is that duelling banjo's I can hear in the background ?,

Grease

Vincent (van)

Harem

Amazing !, Wales is a 'must do' defo, isnt it.

Mercy (send in your pics Barwell !)

Brothers

Get the carbs balanced ?

Blues (pish weather, tit monday was un-eventfull)

Never ever ever use petrol to clean anything, whether in your shed/garage or even outside in the fresh air, it only takes a SPARK to ignite the vapour and then you, your shed/garage and bike etc etc may die a horrible and painfull death, Like OG says WD40 is far safer, parrafin or kerosene is even better as these have a far higher 'flash-point', stay safe

Ray Charles

Yes and get her a helmet (ooh missus) while your at it, I read a post on hear recently about some bloke that didnt bother and drove his GF home after the prom with her tafetta swirling in the summer breeze-but with no helmet on !

I'll 2nd that, the suit has 'scotchlite' piping and panels, so with a bit of luck motorists will see you at night too !

Harry Enfield 'Musket' 400

A very skillfull manoeuvre by the sheep, which to me is suspicious, I think that brastrad has been practising that 'jolly jape' on other unsuspecting motor-cyclists, possibly even cyclists and casual walkers too, and what if he'd caused that biker to crash, what then ?, I'd bet he'd just keep 'shtum' when later questioned by the police !, thats what your up against nowadays !

Weather

Top tip No2 you will need soldering iron, 30m extension cable, small spray bottle filled with tap water, a crazed look in your eye, an alibi, 6 cans of Stella 1 down the 6 cans while pre-heating the soldering iron-which is already attached to the extension cable 2 when step 1 is complete move extension lead outside-leaving it plugged in 3 knock on your neighbours door (the one that broke your wheel) 4 when hamfisted brute answers the door demand the cost of replacement wheel and his set of screw extractors from him 5 every couple of seconds give the soldering iron a spray from the spray bottle thus rendering jets of super-heated steam and the intimidating angry hissing sound that this will produce 6 return home and promptly cold plunge the soldering iron, roll up extension cable, empty spray bottle and thoroughly dry off, put the 6 empty cans into a carrier bag, take carrier bag-extension lead-soldering iron up into the loft space (be carefull at this point remember you will be slightly unstable on the loft ladder) remain in the loft until all has calmed down again.

Joanna Lumley