barkwindjammer

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'? Contestant: Homosexuals. Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2) Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point. Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title. Contestant: Leicester BBC NORFOLK Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World? Contestant: I don't know. Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow? Contestant: Arm Stewart White: Correct And if you're not weak, you're...? Contestant: Strong. Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name? Contestant: Louis Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World? Contestant: Frank Sinatra? LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS) Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ? Contestant: France. Trelinski: France is another country. Try again. Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm. Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon? Contestant: Sorry, I don't know. Trelinski: Just guess a country then. Contestant: Paris. THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2) Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party? Contestant: The Conservative Party. BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON ) DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope? Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish? UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name? Contestant: Goosey? GWR FM ( Bristol ) Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ? Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then. PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO�MANCHESTER) Phil: What's 11 squared? Contestant: I don't know. Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle. Contestant: Is it five? RICHARD AND JUDY Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman? Contestant: Forrest Gump. RICHARD AND JUDY Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live? Contestant: Er. .. .. Richard: He makes bread . . . Contestant: Er . .... Richard: He makes cakes . . . Contestant: Kipling Street? LINCS FM PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain . NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1) Question: What is the world's largest continent? Contestant: The Pacific. ROCK FM ( PRESTON ) Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci. Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV) Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918? Contestant: Magna Carta? JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC) James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry? Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three? CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL ) Chris Searle: In which European country isMount Etna? Caller: Japan. Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er ..... Mexico ? PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE ) Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israellast? Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days. DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland ? Daryl Denham: (helpfully) It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ? Contestant: No. PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR) Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er. ... .. Phil Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . Contestant: Blimey? Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .. Contestant: (Silence) Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . . Contestant: Walked? THE VAULT Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time? Contestant: Nostalgia. LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB) Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes? Contestant: Jewish. Presenter: That's close enough. STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2) Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play? Contestant: Jesus.

Child's Prayer: Dear God. Please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Dads computer.

Mines is the same, I wouldnt worry about it, if you look at the bottom part of the pivot clamp you will see that its angled, i.e. the opening above and below the pivot bolt is kinda like a V on its side, the lever itself has a parallel profile where the bolt goes through, hope this helps

yeah but in an office environment everyone will have their 'desk-tidy', I'd imagine yours is a shell case from 22mm howitzer , and 'office types' keep their 'good pens' in a secret place and are well practised in keeping a 'poker face' on when directly interrogated about PSI (Personal Stationery Items)

At least your intact (mostly) , sorry to hear that Dan, but glad your OK big yin, at least you wear the gear-not like some of the 'Twangers' I see round my streets, speedy recovery m8 for you and your 'baby'

eh/ wit ye oan aboot?

this country has really gone to the dawgz, they ban fox hunting (way hey at last one up on the toffs), the wiley old foxes have re-integrated their skill-sets-Blairite fashion http://i447.photobucket.com/albums/qq196/j...08/image001.jpg , the toffs being too much "hey look at me", with their White chargers and red blazers blowing bugles at their shouting dogs, not 'stealth hunting' really, just a "fukin racket fur fuxake", and we, the pheasants, doing things in a traditional way still get away with (cos we wear cammo), stuff like badger baiting, hare coursing and 'bulldog bashing', well for £55 earth pounds I'd rather drop acid, go to two festivals, and watch all the aforementioned, but with far more colours, and a decent sound track,

I've had a moose loose aboot ma hoose, but I've never followed it up, have had a rat in me kitchen what hamma gonna do, but alas I've never followed that up either, life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone, I hear thou call my name, and it feels like home

Or when someone asks you if you've got a pen, and you know full well you havent, you always frisk yourself anyway, even just for a second try it out on your friends and family

carbolics

yep fire away m8

What was the question again ?

I'd prob leave that job to a professional Stevo, if it was the Jawa then I'd have a go, harder to burn holes in bent rail track

I checked my in box earlier and had recieved the regular E-mail/newsletter thing from the otherwise faultless YOC, only this one looked like a script file, having a 17" monitor I calculated (well one of the kids did) that the mail is exactly3 and a half cubits long and unreadable, maybe I need my box de-fragmented? have any of the readers had a similair problem?

you take it easy there big fella and dont be getting bold

Dont see it as a negative or a fault, when your going faster you need to see further up the road-hence the light gets brighter, when doing suburban riding your lamp will be outputting 25-30 lumens, at ramming speed that will increase to between 30 and 55 lumens, its 'designed in', I think it was succesfully patented in 1972 by one Edwin Moletrap, very clever circuitry lay out,' its called 'the intelegent tacoluminescent system', T-I-T-S ™ for short, so look on the bright side it makes more sense to go fast ! enough intelegent input there, why dont I have another beer then

Crazy fool

I would agree taskmaster, after you've shot your load you could finish the wierdo with a good fisting m8, teach him not to go around firing accusations at people

would go for the new wheel/tyre/disc option, you will prob get charged 'itchy fanny money' for a repair to a wheel made of an alloy which no right minded person would repair and then do 200 miles on

So to sum up, you go out with top half bomb proof, 'Fairy' soft hands, commando midrif-except the pants which no one can see cos their cammo'd-safety catch on-and water tight, and sometimes you wear 18 holers in the rain ? Mama mia by ABBA

an whits rang wi ma spellin laddie ?

and why did you do it

I would say Hagon do well engineered replacement parts, at a 'keep it real fanny bawz' price, I've done my XJ front end (think in the dire States this is called a 'Sega II, or something, anyway its 'mega'), so I would give the Hagon guys an 'air slap', not good with American terminology

Hey Hey Hey, well done HC, your gonna be gibbering like a budgie all night me thinks, stay safe big yin, and keep the rubber side down