This morning on the M6,
I looked over to my left and there was a
woman, in a brand new Porsche 911,
doing 70 miles per hour
with her face up next to her rear view mirror,
putting on her eyeliner I tell ya!!
I looked away just for a couple of seconds...
and when I looked back she was
halfway over in my lane,
still working on that makeup...
As a man,
I don't scare easily,
but she scared me so much,
I dropped
my electric shaver,
which knocked
the meat pie
out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying
to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel,
it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear
which fell into the coffee between my legs,
splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins,
ruined the feckin phone,
soaked my trousers,
and disconnected an
important call!!
Bloody women drivers!!