you sound a bit like Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah by Allen Sherman
Hello Muddah, hello Faddah;
Here I have a, yam 650
bike is very, entertaining;
And they say I'll have some fun if it starts running
I took the head off, with my Spanna;
now this bike is, not worth a tenner
You remember, bought from ebay
should have done a, proper survey
Take it away, oh Muddah, Faddah;
Take it away, I hate this bike
Don't leave me out in the garage where
I might get sad and start say a prayer
Take me home;
I promise I will not make noise, or
Mess the house with my other toys.
Oh please don't make it stay;
I've had it only one whole day.
Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing;
bike looks good now, sun is shining
get a donor; gee that's bettah;
Muddah, Faddah, kindly disregard this letter.