Ttaskmaster

She'd rather I was inside - The washing-up needs doing Women in general I neither understand, nor care to. Mine, I get a lot more than she suspects. She's not stupid either, which means she'll grab a manual, see that she needs XYZ list of tools and go get the exact right ones. Besides, she already knows what kit I want in the garage, so I can be expecting them for Christmas next year!!!

What he said.

Bollocks - If this is the case, you married the wrong one I was out over this very weekend, taking the bike apart (out on the street, that is) and the wife was ferrying coffee to me. She remarked that I should have run the extension cable out so I could have a radio and electric heater going!!

Lifesaver is slightly different from Shoulder Check. Shoulder Check is turning the head to the side, in line with the shoulder, to make sure blind spots are clear. It is part of Observation. Lifesaver is a last moment glance, immediately before you commit to a manoeuvre, done only on the relevant side - If turning right it's a right Lifesaver, if entering a roundabout it's a left one. Essentially, it's another Shoulder Check but done right before you do the dangerous bit - Just in case. It's called a Lifesaver for that exact reason. I've almost gone to change lanes and there was a black car with no lights on, during heavy rain at dusk. I'd done my checks, Lifesaver etc, but just caught the corner of something leaving my mirror one instant and entering my blind spot the next. One more quick Lifesaver and I realise what the face of Death By Feckwitt looks like. However, different schools teach different things. Some say you need a Lifesaver before moving across your lane (such as around a parked car) and another before you reassume the Riding Dominant position. Others say a mirror check is sufficient. Ultimately, as with use of indicators*, you end up using your judgement. Just be big enough to accept it if you make a mistake and learn from it. *For those who will ask - I don't use indicators if it's 3am and no-one is around to see my signal. Part of observation, which means this includes pedestrians. Don't do it on the test, though - remember the instructor still needs to see timely indication of your intent!!

I was working on the assumption that the wife will need scope for christmas presents

Now now..... I admit I'm usually the first one here to resort to violence (if only because I look damn sexy with a sword in hand ), but do not jump to conclusions, here. It could quite easily be a woman who did this. There are plenty of women out there who seriously object to the audacity of bikers, who dare park these filthy thrill-machines on the road that said madams have paid their taxes for their right to park on. I know - One lives up my road. Or it could be some scummy Chavette bitch. There are enough 'females' out there that closely resemble Karen Matthews and will behave exactly like their c**t male counterparts. Either way, if you catch them try kicking their crotch-parts up into their chest cavity. It hurts both genders just as much.

To bring it back on topic, then..... No - I can't sum up why I ride in a single sentence

That (and "Gay bastards") is what all the blokes in the audience said to us, but when the lead singer came out in just a thong for the 'big finish', it was always those same blokes who tried to touch him..... Yes, we looked ridiculous..... But ALL the women loved us and we were getting paid a decent wage for a working band. Need I say more? If ever I get a camera, you're in for a treat

Evenin' mi'Lady!!! Glad you like, although I do kinda dwarf the lil' 125 there A few years older now, so there's a slight manly ruggedness to boot, as well. I'm multi-talented I have several, actually. Would you prefer RAF Dress Blues, Working Dress, RAF Regiment or Royal Green Jackets? These look über smart, tastefully stylish, fantasy soldier and Sean Bean scruffy, respectively. I can also do the Colonial Marine look from Aliens, Jack Sparrow and Glam Rock God rather well.

There is NOTHING not asked of you on the (current) full test that you haven't already met on CBT. You just have to do it better is all. Definitely take some training immediately before the test. As many days as you can afford!! Get everything down pat, stay calm, enjoy the ride and you will pass. "It's not about luck, it's about skill". My Instructor

That's the point where they usually get decked...

Let's see if this works..... I don't seem to have anything within the last few years, though. Probably because I don't have a camera!!

And which most poignant part of "Stephen Fry with a GUN" did people miss there? Ooh, I could really lay on the innuendo there, given Xena's iconic status among the most devout section of her fanbase...... And adding Miss G into the mix would just crash the minds of most forum members!!!! PM me for more details - Replies are charged at £2.95 per message. I do accept credit card and Paypal transfers

The HT leads are shite. Apparently there's a lot of spark plug problems with these things!!!

Oh..... Apparently, I can't..... "Sorry, the board administrator has not enabled your permissions for this part of the control panel".... Where's the Attach Photo button?

This is kinda hard as I'm a very functional person. Aesthetics don't make that much of a difference to me, so long as it does it's job. Having several tools that do the same thing goes against the grain. These are the ones I know I'd like; Second Drag 650. Another Drag 650 for parts. Honda Deauville 700. Yamaha FJR1300. Triked Goldwing. Custom ratted bike of some sort. Custom build Trike Custom build, fully functional Aliens Dropship converted from a Harrier (hey, it's got 3 wheels, so it must be a trike, officer!!). Plus, if I like them; 1300 Hayabusa Triumph Rocket III (without the fancy accessories, of course) In the corner would also be; Alvis 8/11 Armoured Personnel Carrier (the sort of thing that pisses all over a Humvee). 747 Aircraft Tug remodelled to match the APC in Aliens. Millenium Falcon (just to upset my mate who loves Star Wars). The Starship Enterprise, complete with Patrick Stewart and that cute girl (because I could). Plus whatever else I can come up with when I'm bored!! You did say money was no object, right?

It's the pretty boys and the 'real men' in leather, isn't it? I have a friend who wants to become a biker for that sole reason.... Though if they made sheer pink leathers for 23 stone 6' 4" blokes, I'm sure that'd be his second reason!!!! Perhaps freedom from the girls, too? Half the blokes here at work do this to avoid Ze Wife. The girls just say, "Because I can". You're not stopping overnight anywhere that has showers, then? I can recommend some great campsites with all the facilities That's because you haven't met me in real life yet I know I'm sexy - I pay someone to tell me so .....she doesn't accept personal cheque or credit card though. Only shoes and handbags..........

Should have instructions included. If not, go talk with a dealer and ask them to show ya.

Oh, that one's easy - Get a flip-front lid and gob on their windshield as you pass!!!

I ain't no legend.... I'm just a knowledge junkie who enjoys sharing what he has discovered, while basking in a feeling of intellectual superiority..... Kinda like Stephen Fry with a gun, really

How long a sentence do you want? TBH, there are many, many cool one-liners about being a biker, most of which are already on T-shirts. Personally, for me it's cost, style, freedom, ability, features, ease of maintenance, accessorising, wearing leather, meeting people, having friends, the open road, looking hard, attracting women, enjoying complete independence, having transport and being in control of my life, as well as many other things, the order of which varies depending on what situations are at the forefront of my experiences at whichever given moment you care to ask me......... .....But that's just me

As I said earlier, if someone had the balls to say this to your face, you'd have put them down by now. You can't virtually deck someone (yet), so all you can do is tell them to fuck right off and hope the Mods boot them. Yes, our vernacular gets attrocious sometimes, but it's not exactly inarticulate, is it?

Carry a selection of bricks in an open pannier and whenever this happens, speed past them and let one fly through their windscreen. Or..... Be like me and get a fuck-off badass APC to drive around in. People tend not to argue with armoured vehicles given we can rip through them like tinfoil. I mostly jest about the first part, but I am getting fucked off with not being able to bully back at the stupid arseholes on the roads these days. I don't take that kind of shit anywhere else in my life, but on the bike I have to, else I get made very dead very quickly.

As was once said by a man universally respected for having considerable intellect, razor sharp wit and unmatchably well-contrived humour..... "There is nothing wrong with a well-placed 'Fuck'......" Stephen Fry. Now - Fuck off and troll a forum that gives a shit, eh!!

I'll be keeping an eye on this thread... I do know of some people who have had problems - Search will chuck up the threads. This may sound silly, but do you have enough oil in both the sump and final drive?