Ttaskmaster

Looks strangely like the deserts that sci-films are always shot in!

Jane doesn't have a fucking clue and is a sarcastic bitch. Brian is... well, Brian Belssed, really. DIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!

Stupid thing keeps flipping over on the rocks, even from standstill and cannot go uphill either!

As a TT user, I have NO fucking idea what that's all about. This is why I bought the genuine thing and enjoy easy support, rather than having to fuck about with dodgy webshites or get overly complicated in journey planning. Plus I get to have BRIAN BLESSED on my voice options. That wins everything, every time!!

I kid you not. The amount of people I know who've ditched their Garmin Nuvo or whatever because it didn't come with a headset, most headsets don't interface properly, it lost data, the mount or connector failed, the mount was crap, etc etc. It's more expensive and has some pretty fancy features but is sorely lacking in many basics. The Rider isn't perfect and some services cost subscription fees, but so long as you update yer maps everythings cool and works fine.

Fantastic! You both look amazing together! Lovely church, too. I thought you were older, though...

Buy a proper ShatNav, ya cheapskate! I can recommend the TomTom Rider v2 with UK maps. Pretty cheap these days if you shop around and far better overall than the Garmins.

Make friends with a local independent mechanic. The ones who work for beer are great!!

Down here in Reading, the most expensive place around (a long-serving local garage that specialises in Harleys) will take about 2 hours to do it and charge you £100. The best place is a friend of mine, who will take about an hour and charge you £30-50. That's yer baseline.

Describe these 'ways around'... possibly in a fresh thread, as we seem to specialise in derailing others.

Ahhh... I cannae see vids here at work. YouTube is verboten, so embedded stuff doesn't even show up. Just a blank space.

The green one??!! What, are you female or something? What's it called? Green Kak-asaki is a Ninja, right? Just looked on their webshite... almost EVERYTHING is fucking green!!! I assume you mean the ZZR1400, since that looks about the fastest thing they do?

Which one is the new one? I don't really follow Kak-asaki

SOA is awesome - Watch online or get the box sets! I command you! How are you banned? Are you man or mouse? Show a set of Stan Smith balls, draw your gun and sit there watching the LOT!!

Modded or unmodded? A pre-2000 (ie before the restrictors got fitted) 'Busa did 0-60 in about 2.8 seconds with a top of 215mph. That is supposedly still the fastest production bike on the market, although the 0-60 is debated against the Rocket III. Uh-huh.....

I have a Turbo Menthol XVS650 and the wife drives a Turtle Mental Vauhaull Corsa

You should probably watch more Family Guy, American Dad and Sons Of Anarchy. I hear Game Of Thrones is good, along with The Borgias. I play a lot of Assassin's Creed though, so The Borgias is likely to bore the pants off me. Much more fun going round stabbing Muslims and Christians in the face!!

Let her try. Most women come away at least disappointed, if not fuming and ranting about how crap it was. Just don't say, 'I told you so'...

Sri Lanka is hot, right? Are you sure you're not getting condensation/corrosion/rust/other crap somewhere along the electrics? Try coating all your connections with Vaseline or some other kind of non-conductive grease.

This is what happens when you let them shop in Ann Summers... Using them thar 'marital aids' does tend to loosen things up, especially if they fancy a bit fo action after reading Fifty Shades!

Don't be a moron - *Everyone* knows rabbits have weak hearts and that crack would kill them... What do you think makes rabbit pie taste so good? However, you might stand a good chance using a badger, if you make him wear red leggings that are so tight his moose-knuckle resembles Linford Christie...

Oh, is that what she told you?

650 Drag Custom out the box - Book says 0-60 in 7 seconds. Can do it a little bit faster if you clutchless shift, but if you manage 5, I'll be impressed. 1.1 seconds for 0-60 would have to be seriously uprated, with side-mounted rocket motors and a really BIG mouse (like, one on steroids, like) running around in the drive-wheel!

"Haters will be haters" Huh??!! Have I accidentally logged into Facebook here or something? Are you only 12 years old...? Haterz gunna hate, eh? Someone got the link to that "Leave Britney Alooooooooooooone" video? "i always find it amusing that you judge the size of each others knobs by what they ride (bit gay)" The size of your nob is defined by everything - How much you can drink, what size gun you have, how pretty your woman is, how big your engine is, how well you ride, how fast you ride, how many scars you have, etc etc. The more amusing part is that the larger the values of each measurement, the larger your nob, and yet at the same time, the larger the values the smaller your nob and the greater the inadequacies you're attempting to compensate for. So... you have a big engine on a big bike because you have a big nob, but also you have this because you have a small nob and are compensating. Now try wrapping your head around THAT one! And to finish off the train wreck that is human logic - You just ridiculed something by calling it gay, thus indicating that you yourself are both a manly man and at the same a closet fag with all the manliness and inadequacies associated... Welcome to the human race! "theres nothing better than getting a few good bends flowing together properly and out breaking someone at the end of a straight" Having (among other things) flown a helicopter and fired a variety of large calibre weaponry, I could quite easily argue that one as well... "Also its nice to know theres a bit of power there to help get you out of trouble" If ever you need power to get out of trouble, you have failed to plan and were not been watching the road in the first place - Quote from a Police and TVAM riding instructor. Also, I wonder how many people only got into trouble in the first place because they had that bit of power. "you dont have to ride like a dick to have fun on a sports bike" And yet so many people still do... Why is that? "at least i can go fast round bends aswell unlike a cruiser" Cruisers can go fast round corners too. But if you can corner fast on your sports bike, how come many other sporty riders cannot? Whenever you hear about some biker losing it on a twisty country road, why is it always a Sporty and never a Cruiser? End of the day, big whoop. An off-road bike can go off-road, unlike a Sports Bike. My aeroplane can fly directly from London to Paris without having to use a ferry or the Chunnel, unlike a Sports Bike. My penknife can open tin cans, bend wire, cut thread and undo screws, unlike a Sports Bike. These are all devices intended to do certain things. Arguing that someone else's cannot do something that it's not designed to do anyway is even more insane that the nob size argument. But the biggest laugh of all is that this is meant to be just a comedy thread of pure nonsense, made-up bullshit and us pissing around. People seem to be taking it far too seriously... have a beer or two then hit us up again! Now go make some funny stuff up... like how a Giraffe is the only animal tht can teabag you whilst standing up!

1.1 seconds? Yeah right... misplaced decimal point there, methinks. A pre-2000 Hayabusa will only do 0-60 in just under 3, with the Rocket III ever so slightly behind it.