Ttaskmaster

And I suppose all the joyriders carry plasma torches to cut the security chain, bump keys for unbumpable disclocks, VAG systems for key-coded immobilisers, angle grinders to cut the lamp post you've chained the bike to and cloned fobs for alarm/immobs as well, do they? Well I guess were all fucked, then, right? I mean how comforting that thought is, when you're a young kid stranded miles from home in pissing rain and freezing cold, missing a very important appointment - It's OK, I'm insured and it will only take a few weeks before I can get around again. Really useful advice, that... Everyone over to DT's house. Nothing is secured and feel free to take whatever you want. No, it's OK - He's insured!

Which then lands the poor, innocent mechanic whose name is on that restriction certificate in deep shit for seeming forging a legal document and supplying an illegal bike... Seems we don't live in a decent world, either. Dusting at lights is par for the course. I have no care for people who think biking is all about how fast you can go in a straight line. Most such pricks can't filter through gaps that even my big-ass Cruiser can get through and at 2-3 times the speed they're dawdling at. Many people like that with powerful bikes are arrogant dickheads anyway. Kick them over while they're still laughing and see how they feel after that. Scooters... meh. Never had that problem myself, even on a 144kg 125 with 12 BHP. It's not about how fast you ride, it's about how well you ride. Out of curiosity, how much experience is this? I ask, because I heard the exact same statement from my ex, right before failing the test on more than one occasion.

VERY shiny!!! Looks like even the saddlebags don't have a scratch. You take VERY good care of this and it will at least hold it's value for decades to come, if not increase considerably!

Hey guys, I've locked myself out of both my house and several of the other houses in the very rich private estate where I live... Can anyone tell me how to pick open the front, back, side and safe doors of these properties, please? Also, my numerous Aston Martins have all experienced problems with the security devices - How do I bypass them, please? Seriously guys, stop posting information on how to bypass security features on peoples' motorcycles. This is a public forum and while such information may already be public, there's no reason for us to further publicise it. Keep it to approved workshop manual methods - It only costs a few quid to have a pro Lockie repin your lock and/or cut you a new set of keys anyway... often less than a new lock. I say this as both a motorcycle owner and a responsible Locksporter (someone who picks locks for fun at competitive events). teaching people how to use things like bump keys WILL result in your stuff getting nicked one day and I don't fancy losing mine just because some twat on a forum posted a how-to.

These and similar concepts have been around for ages and they have yet to catch on. Stephen Fry showcased them on his new show Gaget Man.

Using the fancy, expensive stuff drops my performance and my MPG notably! Standard, regular, normal petrol gives me an easy 175 mile range on 16 litres and riding my usual aggressive way.

Don't get many of them on the motorway... Air-cooled engine is pretty cool in -35ºC winds, too I guess being a hard nut is the only way. Next year, I'll be doing the Elephant Rally, in just my underwear, ha ha!!

There is NO brand of glove that will keep my hands even slightly warm when the bike has NO fairing, the riding position is that of a kite, the standing temperature is -7ºC (becoming around -35ºC at 70mph) and I have 3-4 hours of riding to go... After a single hour, maybe less, your hands will both sting and have no feeling. Heated grips won't help there either, as they only warm the inside of your hand. Some guys improvise little wind shields over the grips with PVC pipe and tape, but I've never tried. They're open and so less likely to be as fiddly as muffs, but try stuff out and see what works best.

Given the choice, I only ever buy Shell or BP standard 95. Tescos, Morrisons and Texaco fuels run absolute fucking shite in both bikes and the Mrs's car - Rumour (from a friend actually in Trading Standards) has it they did/do often water their fuel down, which I could very well believe given how awful the performance has been.

Can I come round and explore your huuuuuuuge.... tracts of land?

I do DIY when I can, but my knackered hands don't always give me that option. In such cases, I have friendly mechanics who work for beer and biltong!

Has no-one actually read The Highway Code, then? Go check it now, online if you like, and see what that says about filtering - That answers yer question of legality. Further, cops and insurers often assign an automatic 50/50 blame to you and the other vehicle(s) in the case of an RTA involving filtering. It's more a legal grey area, even with expert witnesses and camera footage as evidence. There used to be the 20-20 filtering rule, an unofficial guide that every sensible biker stuck by: No faster than 20mph above the speed of the traffic and no filtering when the traffic is going faster than 20mph. That means you're never travelling above 40mph. Course not all of us stay like that, either. It depends on the road and what people are doing. As another wide-bar owner, I am more limited, but at the same time seem far more capable of getting through gaps with 3" clearance than tiny bikes can when they have a good foot or two either side... I have clipped 3 mirrors that I can recall, but that's London rush-hour for you.

1993 RD350R "estimated" at 120mph. Several I know have exceeded this without mods, including a couple I know well enough to believe. Extra mods can get you even more, supposedly.

If I was a copper in Bradford, I'd probably insist on being armed!!

Get a new woman! I have 4 bikes in my garage (and two of them actually work, ya know!) - 2 Dragstars, an R1 (Virgin Mobile racing scheme) and a PoS half-stripped NTV that awaits it's owner (a friend of mine) to come fix it up and get the ugly thing out of my fecking sight. One of those actually belongs to the Mrs, so she can't really complain Welcome to the party!

Until you have private security firms operating where the cops are too afraid to go and who can sieze anyone they want, to take them away and hold them for days on end, beating them with a sjambok for 'interrogation' just to ascertain whether or not someone is even guilty... until then, even Bradford has nothing on Johannesburg!

When I looked up the crime stats, I was seriously fucking shocked!! In every single crime category, Bradford has at least three times what Reading has and in many cases it's more than twelve times!! To be fair, Reading is sort of a pretend town. Very little here is actually serious enough to take itself as seriously as it does... but I moved here having lived around places like Wembley, Southall, Burnt Oak, Harrow (not the on-the-Hill bit, the scum part) and Camden. But from the accounts of Bradford by friends who live there, I'd guess they all live outside the city itself... Give it a few more years and it'll be like downtown Jo'burg is now!!

Answer is still no. Only gamble on something when you do actually have some chance of profiting by it!

Most towns have a Ped Boy element, so anyone with an L plate or 125 in general might be closely watched, depending on what the cops usually have to deal with. Round here it's just twats violating traffic laws. Other areas, it's criminals generally using Peds to escape through the suburbs and so on. And Bradford does have a lot of crime - Not neccesarily bikers or motorcyclists, but Bradford is generally the second most dangerous city in England and Wales. Last count had 98.3 serious offences per 1,000 population, just behind Nottingham. Bradford also has the highest level of gun violence in the UK and is in the top 5 for rape, burglary, assault and vehicle crime. So factor that all in and there ya have it.

It's quite likely stolen. It's also been removed anyway, probably because it was stolen.

You anywhere near Bradford or similar large town, where riders of such machines as your are commonly troublemakers? Ah, usual suspect, then? That could be all they need and, TBH, I'd rather have cops who know and keep an eye on scrotes (current and former), than those who don't know a thing about the local area and blunder their way through. We had a big spate of bike thefts a few years back - After the 4th report in perhaps as many days, the cops were on it, knew enough about the local goings-on to track everything down, stormed the scrotes' hideout proer fuckin' Gene Hunt style and successfully recoverd the 30-odd other thefts that had occured over the previous 2 days. They were being packed up ready to ship overseas. Most of this was possible because they knew a bunch of scrotes new to the area had arrived.

Instead, if you give me the £1,000 I'll not only give you a string of insults to your intelligence, but I'll actually write them down - At least that way you'd actually get *something* for your money! You buy this, you'll get 'nowt wiv it', including no bike, most likely... But if you're very, very lucky, you'll get a prison sentence of some sort. Something like receiving stolen goods, I expect.

That company's webmaster needs to install a spell-checker!!

"Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, third time is..." The end of that quote is actually 'enemy action', but since you're not James Bond being interrogated by Goldfinger, I'd have to say that you're possibly doing *something* to attract their attention. It could be the way you're riding, how the bike looks, maybe even the noise it makes. But I reckon there's a reason you keep getting stopped.