Ttaskmaster

I said 'technically'. CBT teaches you to go down through the gears, stopping in 1st and keeping the clutch held in. The idea is you shift down and let out the clutch for that all-important engine braking, except during an emergency stop. You can go down from 2nd to Neutral - I do it myself sometimes, usually just before flipping the sidestand down and plonking the bike down as it stops, pushing off with the left foot and spinning round into a standing position next to the bike, all in one fluid motion. However, this is Advanced Cruiser Posing and not recommended for beginners or those with tall bikes So yes, you can do it, but there's no reason where you actually need to. Also, like smoking (which is something else I do to excess), it's not something I actively advocate in other people.

Try going into Neutral (I assume you're stationary?), letting the clutch out, maybe revving it a little and then engaging First. Technically though, you should never really need to go fron Second to Neutral. You should go down the gears one at a time.

Fecking awful this morning - Berkshire County Council are running out of grit, so many of Reading's roads were awash with fresh snow and sludge, which became slush as it started to rain.... The Wife has threatened to hide my bike keys tomorrow, coz she knows I'll ride to work.

Just a yamaha dealer or someone who stocks a lot of Yamahas? Colin Colins in Harrow are fairly good and there's an official Yammie dealer round the corner from them down Kenton Road. Can't recall their name, though.

Yes... else some authentic bikers will probably try and rip it out!!

Mine are all rude, politically incorect, illegal and amazing fun. Many involve firearms and assorted medieval weaponry. However, they are all part and parcel of the primary thing to do, which is called Living Life.

Ain't no authenticated biker I knows what gots one o' them, boy..... You sure you don' jus' wanna b'come a cowboy an' get all excited over Brokeback Mount'n?

Send her some nicotine patches

+1 ...... usually

The fuss, dear Grumpy, is that I can only manage about 15mph before I can no longer expect my rear brake to function effectively and I end up sliding my 37 stone of bike, plus my own 11, through your car window as I slip about on the 5" deep, loose-snow-covered road that the council cannot be arsed to grit for me!!

Wish I could be enthusiastic, hon...... But I just want to hack all the 'streamlined, flowing lines' off the thing and convert it to a Custom!!! Hope it fulfills yer needs, Miss!!

Yep, it's snowing. 3-4" deep, more in other places, cars are backed up, there's grit everywhere, people are absent from work, all the local schools are shut....... ......And I'm sat here at work, having ridden all the way here in 2nd gear. The snow wasn't a problem once I got onto major roads. However, I still haven't gotten around to buying any Pro FST yet, so my carbs are icing and I stall at every fecking red light!!! Who else has been brave/stupid this morning, then?

Unless you look like the lady in the first & third pics, keep it away from me!!!

Oh, and for anyone who really thinks they can dis the leather cruiser look;

Yeah, and being covered in mud and horse-shit is such a sexy look, eh ladies!! Sports bikes - Why bother? Being blurry isn't sexy either. Cruisers go nice and slow so everyone can get a good look at you. Incidentally, most cruisers are pretty modular. You don't have to remove half the components to service the common parts. Also - Sporties go fast, but the slightest bit of extra weight and they get all prissy. Fully loaded a Cruiser still has enough torque to rip the wheels off a Sporty It all comes down to what you wear; Leather - I'm a pretty-boy poser for the local gay glossies, with a second job as a children's TV character. Textiles - I'm an office worker who earns more money than you can dream of. Normal clothes - I'm a suicidal twat. Please run me over. Combats - I grew up from being a twat and am now a nutter!! Mk 14 RAF Flightsuit - I have a choice between Hellfires, Stingers, Sidewinders, Starstreaks, CRV7s or 30mm High Explosive rounds. I can go 220mph, see you from over 2½ miles away in any conditions and hit you from even further away. Bring it on, motherf**ker!!!!!! Leather waistcoat with Patches - I cannot currently afford an assault helicopter, but I wouldn't pass up the chance to nick one to kick your arse with.

Remove carb unit. Take to a clean workspace. Open carb up. Clean out using carb cleaner spray and clean cloths. Reassemble. Refit. There are service manuals (both workshop and Haynes/Clymer) knocking about on the web for free PDF download.

Which is a better way of saying what I was trying to It is fast. Have a mate on a VFR800 who was left for dust on a 1300 owners rideout last year. However, they all ended up with tickets and points, so ride responsibly. If I'd the money, I'd probably still get one. Oh, here's one fault - The ma-HOO-ssive loppy lugs Yamaha came up with to plant around the mirrors as knuckle visors. You look at most bikes, they have this little plastic gusset that slots into the fairing. Yamaha came up with these big stupid looking boxes!!

Guess you're getting a divorce then, matey. Has she actually ridden on one? Get her a backrest, whack on some luggage (hard or soft) and chug away on an 1100 Dragstar with custom pipes. Or if you want more, they go all the way up to 1900!! Seriously, take her for a test ride on something and let her discover why we love these bikes!!

I was going to suggest a big-ass Varadero, but.... FJR should bring you some fun, I reckon.

Not really. Everything costs, more so as Cruisers tend to have chromed billet accent parts. You're talking £50 here, £30 there, all for small end caps, footpeg plates, component covers and so on. A 'fender accessory', ie a small rail that goes around the front mudguard can be as much as 150. Braided brake lines are a good start. Performance stuff is mostly tuning (Colortune Kit for about £30), choice of plugs, K&N filter and so on.

Well this 'nancy boy with girl's hair' has had women come up to him on the street, asking if they can get photos of them posing on his 125 Drag. Don't get that with mud-rollers!! If you're really concerned about what image your bike conveys, ALL bikers are poofs!! In particular, anyone who reckons riding a bike makes them special, typically those on a 'Blade, 'Busa or anything you can "get yer knee daahn" on. Then again, poof also are people who drive cars (especially Range Rovers), vans, busses, lorries and all else. The only people who are not raving queers are pilots of heavily armed assault helicopters. So, unless you fly an aircraft with a 20mm cannon and several racks of missiles, you are just as much of a faggot as the rest of us!! Where's the 'Gunship' emoticon?

I can't imagine why not. Phone 'em back and keep asking for their supervisor until you get someone who has brains. Or check out their webshite.

Unless it's particularly loud, I wouldn't worry. Most bikes make different noises when the clutch is pulled in. I imagine it's the engine blasting off as it's suddenly got no load, ie you've removed the drive train.

Faults..... It's BIG. I'd have had one, except it's too big for anything but Touring, really. You can use it for everyday riding and all, but it's a pain in the arse. However, it's very comfy and is loaded out with stuff.

I couldn't see his number because of the headlights. He was also speeding up. Had he hit me, I'd likely have been made very, very dead. Strangely, no-one would have witnessed the event or got his number. There would have been a phonecall to my NOK at around 22:30 for her to come ID this body of some biker with her info hung round his neck. Being "in the right" means fuck all when you cannot walk, talk or eat anything that isn't straw-fed.