Moderator Airhead Posted May 13, 2008 Moderator Share Posted May 13, 2008 Late last Saturday night, a young chap was walking home from the pub. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most Of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only Broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a Dustbin. Suddenly he heard a strange noise ... BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ Startled, he turned around. To his amazement, through the driving rain He saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road. BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ He froze to the spot. He couldn't believe his eyes. As the box Approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more Clearly. It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put His head down and started walking briskly home. BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ The coffin was gaining on him. He started walking faster........ BUMP.... BUMP....... BUMP........BUMP....... BUMP........BUMP........ The coffin was closing with his every step. He started to jog, but he Heard the coffin speed up after him .... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... He started to sprint, but so did the coffin ....... BUMP.... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP..... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP..... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP..... Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was Only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his Keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock. He dived inside, Slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and Slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through The front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin Allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued Its chase .. BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could Take him. He bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door ... BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP... BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP... BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP... The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and Launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the Bathroom door flew off its hinges ... The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young Terrified lad. BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom Cabinet ... He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at The coffin ... still it came ........ BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ... still it Came....... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ... still it came...... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... He grabbed some Benylin cough mixture and threw it ... The coffin stopped Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Goff Posted May 13, 2008 Moderator Share Posted May 13, 2008 Get yer fekkin coat.................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 Sometimes Oldgit, you go too far!!! Collect your hat as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Airhead Posted May 13, 2008 Author Moderator Share Posted May 13, 2008 Sometimes Oldgit, you go too far!!! Collect your hat as well. Got me hat Got me coat Locked up Dropped key down grid Nice knowin ya all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 Come back and give us another joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator drewpy Posted May 14, 2008 Moderator Share Posted May 14, 2008 quite simply BRILLIANT!!! I luv the crass ones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest grisler54 Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Don’t u just hate it when they go on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on an on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Airhead Posted May 15, 2008 Author Moderator Share Posted May 15, 2008 Yes but did you get to the end, or did you give up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R1evad Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 Drewpy, you can get a lift with oldgit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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