TazR6 Posted April 13, 2008 Share Posted April 13, 2008 Question: How do you tell the difference between a UK Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer? Answer: Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, and raises the knife and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?' UK Police Officer's Answer: 1) Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! 2) Does the man look poor or oppressed? 3) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? 4) Could we run away? 5) Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? 6) What does the law say about this situation? 7) Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? 8) Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? 9) Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? 10) Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? 11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? 12) Should I call 9-9-9? 13) Why is this street so deserted? 14) We need to raise taxes, have a paint-and-weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior? 15) If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away; do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself? 16) If I shoot him, and lose the court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Australian Officer's Answer: 1) BANG! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- American Officer's Answer: 1) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click....(sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!!!!!!!!!!! Click. Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?'' -------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrhendryx Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH holy hell, thats pretty good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R1evad Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 In our street it`s. Q: Is he close enough for me to make it look like he shot himself in a struggle? A: Wait..................Yes. BANG. "Honey, have you got a hankie to wipe my prints off this................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator drewpy Posted April 14, 2008 Moderator Share Posted April 14, 2008 Dat's funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peabody Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Only reload once? :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kniller Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 17) Where did I get this firearm and does whoever gave it to me hold the appropriate licence? 18) I couldn't possibly use this firearm, I'm not sufficiently trained in the appropriate procedures and protocol. 19) Could you stop stabbing my wife please, I need more time to assess the situation and identify possible health and safety issues to try and minimalise the consequences of my actions. 20) Am I wearing enough high vis? 21) Sorry, there's nothing we can do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peabody Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Oh crap! It's a London cop! Get back man, he's got a whistle! I think he's going to blow it! :lol: Honestly, it's probably a good idea to limit police force. A drunk driver pulled too close to a group of cops in Central Florida back in 88. The trigger-happy cops fired 86 bullets into the car. At least 12 hit the guy. (lousy shots I guess) It was like Bonny and Clyde. Pitiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R1evad Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Oh crap! It's a London cop! Get back man, he's got a whistle! I think he's going to blow it! :lol: Honestly, it's probably a good idea to limit police force. A drunk driver pulled too close to a group of cops in Central Florida back in 88. The trigger-happy cops fired 86 bullets into the car. At least 12 hit the guy. (lousy shots I guess) It was like Bonny and Clyde. Pitiful. I hope they get the ones that missed deducted from their pay, what a waste Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peabody Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 I hope they get the ones that missed deducted from their pay, what a waste At least they all hit the car, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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