Since i share all my jokes in the pub i thought i would bring them here:-

THINGS NOT TO SAY TO THE POLICE

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer

I was going to be a policeman, but I decided to finish school instead

Aren't you the bloke from the villiage people?

Is it true that people become Policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the handlebars and the throttle, forcing me to speed out of control.

Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

Since i share all my jokes in the pub i thought i would bring them here:-

THINGS NOT TO SAY TO THE POLICE

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer

I was going to be a policeman, but I decided to finish school instead

Aren't you the bloke from the villiage people?

Is it true that people become Policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the handlebars and the throttle, forcing me to speed out of control.

Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

u nutter i just tend to say go fck urself and i never done nothing wrong so what ur problem than just start and tell em just send me the ticket if that dont work just tell em u on phone to his wife

Of course to defuse the situation with the police, you could ask if your bum was to big.

lmao!

iv not had a c*nt, drinkstable (you gota say it!)

I'm sotally tober occifer!