http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/blackburn-man-does-five-lines-of-cocaine-has-a-forty-minute-wank-in-a-beer-garden-is-arrested-303

sounds familliar

I think not, this man clearly wasn't lost and there's no mention of pies or pasties 

I'm surprised this got a mention. We are talking Blackburn here, and in my defence and I should point out that i spent a year living in Darwen (for those that haven't had the pleasure this is Blackburns less sophisticated near neighbour)

Yes that's where all the inbreads live.

My mate Joshua2. Lives in Blackburn though.!!! 

I'm glad I live in the South West and not in the North East where it was possible that I could've resided due to meeting a young lady when I was in the RN and visited a port on my travels.

It seems that we are more refined down here.

40 minute wank! hat's off to the bloke i can't even make my hand look remotely attractive enough to get a 40 second shuffle.

 

OH ! I DON'T KNOW   my hands quite attractive.