I'm talking about the weird looking thing that doesn't even look like a nut and keeps my loose balls in place (couldn't resist that one...). It's kind of hard to use a torque wrench since I don't have anything that resembles the pattern on the nut. So how do you guys do that?

Ok. With the top clamps on the forks loose and the stem nut loose.

Then with the front wheel clear of the ground tighten the nut (uses a c spanner normally) untill you can feel no movement front to back pulling the bottom of the forks.

If its about right the bars should move smothly left to right with no stiff areas.

Tighten everything back up and check its all still smooth.

just tighten it gently until it shows resistance, then apply the front brake and rock the bike back and forth, place a finger against the bearing cover and steering head tube and there should be no movement between the two, I bet shop manuals from various bikes will give some insight

Thanks! Sounds just about what I remember from 30 years ago on my moped. I just wanted to check.