Posted March 6, 201213 yr CREATE your own cruise ship experience by visiting an old people's home whilst pissed on rum A VIBRATING cock ring makes an ideal massage belt for a hamster with a stiff back AVOID wasting time at airport security by going shoeless with your trousers round your ankles. PRETEND to be Elvis in your local chip shop by saying "Thank you very much" and then leaving the building. WHY waste money on a potato masher? Simply put the potato in your mouth and chew - hey presto, creamy mash in seconds! RECREATE the glamor of watching an old person eat pasta by giving a dog a Jelly Baby CONVINCE people you're the Wizard of Oz by shouting at them from behind a curtain
March 7, 201213 yr Author "Top tip of the day: treat life as your dog would, if you can't eat it or shag it, just piss on it and walk away!!
March 12, 201213 yr Don't talk to strangers Remember that even dogs sniff ass holes before they talk!
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