A Polish man married an English girl.

Being in England for a year or so, although his english was far from perfect, they got along very well.

Until one day he rushed into a solicitors office and asked him if he could arrang a quickie divorce.

The solicitor said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following quesions:

Solicitor - ''Have you any grounds?''

Pole - ''Ja Ja, an acre and a half and a nice little home with three bedrooms''.

Solicitor - ''No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?''

Pole - ''It is made of concrete, brick and mortar.''

Solicitor - ''Does either of you have a real grudge?''

Pole - ''No,'' he replied, ''We have a two car carport and have never really needed one.''

Solicitor - ''I mean what are your relations like?''

Pole - ''All my relations are in Poland.''

Solicitor - ''Is there any infidelity in your marriage?''

Pole - ''Yes - we have a hi fidelity stereo set and DVD player with 6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is yes!''

Solicitor - ''No, I mean does your wife beat you up?''

Pole - ''No I'm always up before her.''

Solicitor - ''Is your wife a nagger?''

Pole - ''No, she is white.''

Solicitor - ''Why do you want this divorce?''

Pole - ''She going to kill me!''

Solicitor - ''What makes you think that?''

Pole - ''I got proof.''

Solicitor - ''What kind of proof?''

Pole - ''She going to poison me. She buy a bottle from the chemist and left it on the shelf in the bathroom. I can read and it says

POLISH REMOVER!''