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DEAD DUCK


Alan
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A woman brought a very limp duck into a vterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the birds chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said ''I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away.''

The distressed owner wailed, ''Are you sure?'' ''Yes I'm sure. The duck is dead'' the vet replied.

''How can you be so sure'' she protested. ''I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.''

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a pair of Labrador Retrievers. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dogs stood on their hind legs, put their front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. They then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook their heads. The vet patted the dogs,took them out of the room and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from it's beak to it's tail and back again. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook it's head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, ''I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.''

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

''£150!'' she cried ''£150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!''

The vet shrugged. ''I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20. But with the Lab Reports and the CAT scan it all adds up.''

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  • 2 weeks later...

i had to pay £6bastard 40 for some cream for my rash the other day (form of dermetitus in my hand) i nearly swore at the women in the chemist then when i seen how small the tube was i seen red but then i thought cant complain some bastard has tro pay for the scoungers who unneedingly claim benefits and get free medical care..........BASTARDS :o

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