A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on ''The Sea''. Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the comments that were funny. The kids were all aged between 5 and 8 years.

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testacles. (Kelly aged 6)

Oysters balls are called pearls. (James aged 6)

If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne aged 7)

I thinks sharks are ugly and mean and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie aged 6)

A dolphin breathes through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy aged 8)

My uncle goes out in his boat with pots and comes back with crabs (Millie aged 6)

I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen aged 6)

Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher aged 7)

My mum has fishnets but doesn't catch any fish. (Laura aged 5)

When you go swimming in the sea, its very cold and it makes my willy small. (Kevin aged 8)

A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen inside. (Emma aged 5)

When I grow up I want to be captain of a big ship and have lots of sailors. (Valerie aged 6)

Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky aged 8)

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testacles. (Kelly aged 6)

Oysters balls are called pearls. (James aged 6)

I thinks sharks are ugly and mean and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie aged 6)

A dolphin breathes through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy aged 8)

I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen aged 6)

My mum has fishnets but doesn't catch any fish. (Laura aged 5)

When you go swimming in the sea, its very cold and it makes my willy small. (Kevin aged 8)

Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky aged 8)

Those were Great Alan!

funny as feck...as ever Alan...class

A dolphin breathes through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy aged 8)

that lad deserves a gold star no not a bsa....

"what would happen if you had 10 babies?" (Teacher)

"whey you'd just burst "..Nathan (mine) aged 3

thats was yesterday....pmsl

Kids say the Damnedest things sometimes!

I can always remember holding my little brother outside a shop in brighton, he must have been about 3 and he pointed to the massive black security guard next to us and pointed saying monkey!

I could have died, but luckily the bloke had a really good sense of humour and pissed himself! Thought i was gonna get a kicking!

I could have died, but luckily the bloke had a really good sense of humour and pissed himself! Thought i was gonna get a kicking! 

Probably woulda got your ass kicked if your brother was any older than 3!

Yeah i know, i was thinking that i hope he didnt think that i whispered something to my brother and he said it