JP_445 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 This is the situation: There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castle guarded by a dragon. Here is the end of the story with different kind of metalheads as knights. * POWER METAL The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest. * THRASH METAL The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and ****s her. * HEAVY METAL The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and ****s the princess. FOLK METAL The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess. * VIKING METAL The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving. * DEATH METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, ****s the princess and kills her, then leaves. * BLACK METAL The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon. * GORE METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, ****s the princess and kills her. Then he ****s the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he ****s the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and ****s it for the last time. * DOOM METAL The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story. * PROGRESSIVE METAL The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist. * GLAM METAL The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour. * NU METAL The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liquidcooled Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 haha pretty good mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator YamaHead Posted January 29, 2005 Moderator Share Posted January 29, 2005 I'm more of the HEAVY METAL type myself. But I sure see alot of those NU METAL types around lately! Another good laugh JP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tomg Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 excellent! im the heavy metal type Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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