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Dumb Ass Tonto !


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Tonto and the Loan-Ranger are on horse-back, crossing the outback plains,

As they are going along they can see nothing for miles only a few trees,

Then out of the blue, Tonto stops, So then does the Loan-Ranger,

"Whats up", says the Loan-Ranger,

Tonto just says "sushhhhhh, be quiet",

A few minuets go by, then suddenly Tonto jumps down from his horse, drops to his hands and knees, puts his ear down to the ground and starts to listen,

"Buffalo Cum", he says,

The Loan-Ranger looks arround but cant see any buffalo anywhere, "how the hell do you know that" he says,

Tonto rises from his knees, puts his hand against his face and says,

"Face Sticky".

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The Lone Ranger was riding along on Silver when he came accross Tonto lying on the grass with his ear to the the ground.

"What's up, Tonto"

"Stagecoach" replied Tonto. "Six horses, four passengers, driver and guard, heading for Dodge City."

"Golly gosh Tonto, you can tell all that just by listening with your ear to the ground?"

"No" said Tonto.

"The fucking thing just ran over me!!"

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Two cowboys walking through the desert and one of them got bit on the backside by a rattlesnake.

"What do I do. what do I do???" He said in a panic.

"Well, first of all, don't panic or the poison will go round your body a lot quicker."

"Right, just stay calm and I'll run over to that Indian village, they're bound to have a witch doctor."

"Ok, but be quick, I don't want to die" said the injured cowboy.

Twenty minutes later he arrived in the village and asked if he could see the witch doctor.

"Doc, doc, you gotta help me, my buddy has been bitten by a rattlesnake, what do I do"

"YOU SUCK or HIM DIE" replied the witch doctor.

Twenty minutes later he arrived back to where his buddy was.

"What did he say, what did he say?" demanded the injured cowboy.

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"YOU DIE"

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