A lady went into a tattooist and said can you tattoo a butterfly on each of my cheeks.

The tattooist said.

"I'm not very good at butterflies, what about bees?

"No" the lady said, "I really do fancy a couple of butterflies tattooed on my buttocks"

The tattooist insisted that he really was not very good at doing butterflies but was good at doing bees.

In the end the lady gave in and said OK I'll have a bee on each of my buttocks.

When she went home that night, in the bedroom she said to her husband, "would you like to see my new tattoos?"

"Of course said her husband"

So she bent down and removed her draws and directed her buttocks towards her husband.

After a while of deliberation he said.

"Who's BoB?"

Mr Smith got a phone call from his doctors surgery asking him to come and have a chat with the doctor on a most urgent matter.

The doctor said "Mr Smith, I am very sorry to have to tell you but I have some bad news for you, and some VERY BAAAD news for you. Which would you like first?"

Mr Smith replied "I'd like to have the bad news first please doctor"

"OK Mr Smith, I'm afraid the bad news is that you have only got 3 weeks to live"

After a very distraught Mr Smith recovered he said

"Golly gosh, if thats the bad news, what on earth is the VERY BAAAD news?

"Well" the doctor said

"I am really sorry about this, but the VERY BAAD news is.....................................

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"I should have told you 3 weeks ago"

Theres a man in a business suit on a plane with 6-7 kids with him, a lady looks over from the next isle and say's..

"Are those ALL your children???"

The man looks over and says..

"No, I work for Trojen Condoms.. These are all customer complaints.."

Theres a man in a business suit on a plane with 6-7 kids with him, a lady looks over from the next isle and say's..

"Are those ALL your children???"

The man looks over and says..

"No, I work for Trojen Condoms.. These are all customer complaints.."

brilliant