Moderator Goff Posted October 6, 2008 Moderator Share Posted October 6, 2008 With age comes experience. With experience comes knowledge so to all you youngsters out there without this essential piece of information, read and learn what a woman says and what she actually means - i reckon this should be on the boys school curriculum from the age of 11 FINE:- This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never, ever use 'FINE' to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of these arguments! FIVE MINUTES:- This means at least half an hour and theres nothing you can do to hurry it up so dont even try. NOTHING:- This means 'Something', and you should be on your toes. 'Nothing' is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, outside down and back to front! 'Nothing' usually signifies an argument that will last 'Five minutes' and end with 'Fine'! GO AHEAD:- (With raised eyebrows). This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over 'Nothing' and ending with the word 'Fine'! GO AHEAD:- (Normal eyebrows) This means 'I give up' or Do what you want because I dont care'. You will then get a 'Go ahead (raised eyebrows)' after a few minutes, followed by 'Nothing' and 'Fine' and she will talk to you in about 'Five minutes' when she cools off! LOUD SIGH:- This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A 'Loud Sign' means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you over 'Nothing'! SOFT SIGH:- Again, not a word, but another non-verbal statement. 'Soft Sighs' mean that she is content. The wise man does not move or even breathe at this stage and she will stay content! THATS OKAY:- This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man, 'Thats Okay' means she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. 'Thats Okay' is often used with the word 'Fine' and in conjunction with a 'Raised Eyebrow'! PLEASE DO:- This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You do have a fair chance if you tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a 'Thats Okay'! THANKS:- A woman is thanking you! Do not faint. Just say 'You're welcome'! THANKS A LOT:- This is very different from ' Thanks'. A woman will say 'Thanks A Lot' when she is really angry at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous, uncaring way and will be followed by the 'Loud Sigh'. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the 'Loud Sigh' as she will only tell you 'Nothing'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey*DTR Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 Ohhh so thats were i was going wrong... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Airhead Posted October 6, 2008 Moderator Share Posted October 6, 2008 With age comes experience. With experience comes knowledge so to all you youngsters out there without this essential piece of information, read and learn what a woman says and what she actually means - i reckon this should be on the boys school curriculum from the age of 11 FINE:- This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never, ever use 'FINE' to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of these arguments! FIVE MINUTES:- This means at least half an hour and theres nothing you can do to hurry it up so dont even try. NOTHING:- This means 'Something', and you should be on your toes. 'Nothing' is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, outside down and back to front! 'Nothing' usually signifies an argument that will last 'Five minutes' and end with 'Fine'! GO AHEAD:- (With raised eyebrows). This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over 'Nothing' and ending with the word 'Fine'! GO AHEAD:- (Normal eyebrows) This means 'I give up' or Do what you want because I dont care'. You will then get a 'Go ahead (raised eyebrows)' after a few minutes, followed by 'Nothing' and 'Fine' and she will talk to you in about 'Five minutes' when she cools off! LOUD SIGH:- This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A 'Loud Sign' means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you over 'Nothing'! SOFT SIGH:- Again, not a word, but another non-verbal statement. 'Soft Sighs' mean that she is content. The wise man does not move or even breathe at this stage and she will stay content! THATS OKAY:- This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man, 'Thats Okay' means she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. 'Thats Okay' is often used with the word 'Fine' and in conjunction with a 'Raised Eyebrow'! PLEASE DO:- This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You do have a fair chance if you tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a 'Thats Okay'! THANKS:- A woman is thanking you! Do not faint. Just say 'You're welcome'! THANKS A LOT:- This is very different from ' Thanks'. A woman will say 'Thanks A Lot' when she is really angry at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous, uncaring way and will be followed by the 'Loud Sigh'. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the 'Loud Sigh' as she will only tell you 'Nothing'. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to "NOTHING" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator YamaHead Posted October 6, 2008 Moderator Share Posted October 6, 2008 Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to "NOTHING" Been there, Done that.....too many times to count! Now in defense of us blokes........ IF you could.....& really wanted to get even with a woman without ANY physical or verbal confrontations..... You'd take away her right to........Change Her Mind! ....It'd be the new definition of COMMITMENT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ttaskmaster Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 I just do as I please, mostly. If she has issue with it, then she can either go complain to her girlie friends or find someone who gives a shit. The way I see it, she's with me because she likes who I am. In order to make the relationship work, I have to continue being who I am. Therefore, I'm holding up my end of the deal. Incidentally, I also unconditionally accept her and all the flaws that make her who she is. If she doesn't share the sentiments, she's in the wrong relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gas up - Let's Go! Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Every man needs to understand the meaning of a relationship, it can be summed up in two words : Yes dear Then you go ahead and do what you want, just don't get caught, thats all..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gas up - Let's Go! Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 and finally..... A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending where they are in their menstual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However, when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyes and a cricket stump shoved up his backside Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator YamaHead Posted October 7, 2008 Moderator Share Posted October 7, 2008 and finally..... However, when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyes and a cricket stump shoved up his backside PMS..... Prime Murder Suspect Pass My Shotgun Personal Money Spender Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grizzlydan Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 PMS..... Prime Murder Suspect Pass My Shotgun Personal Money Spender Hmm? My ex used to say 'call it PMS again & I'll kick the f#@k out of ya!'. But hey, what da hell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cili Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 Consolidates my theory that God was drunk when he created woman hehehehe now I guess will have to avoid this forum for a few weeks hehehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grizzlydan Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Aisle, Alter You! She didn't! Oh well, what price freedom? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
square box Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 A classic: Wife says "we won't buy each other Xmas presents this year as we don't really need anything" Xmas day comes, Kids and all downstairs opening presents from under the tree and guess what, their's one for me from the wife! I say "thought we were not buying presents for each other this year" Wife says "I only meant big presents" you can guess how my xmas was that year So the moral of the story is even if the wife / girlfriend / partner says "we won't buy presents this year for each other" simply ignore it and buy one!!! Square Box Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit146 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 and finally..... However, when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyes and a cricket stump shoved up his backside That seems par for the course, i.e., any time, any place, any where. Period. (No pun intended...much ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit146 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 A classic: Wife says "we won't buy each other Xmas presents this year as we don't really need anything" Xmas day comes, Kids and all downstairs opening presents from under the tree and guess what, their's one for me from the wife! I say "thought we were not buying presents for each other this year" Wife says "I only meant big presents" you can guess how my xmas was that year So the moral of the story is even if the wife / girlfriend / partner says "we won't buy presents this year for each other" simply ignore it and buy one!!! Square Box Swap Xmas for anniversary and/or birthday, and that's the swamp I find myself in right now, and just about every year preceeding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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