Live to ride Ride to live Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 DON'T KNOW WHAT DOCTOR WROTE THIS, BUT I LIKE HIM! . HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - Kebab in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming : Woo Hoo, what a ride! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PenguinUK Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I like this doctor, we should clone him and spread him around the country! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R1evad Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 were not here for a long time, were here for a good time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator drewpy Posted July 28, 2008 Moderator Share Posted July 28, 2008 were not here for a long time, were here for a good time! you a were wolf? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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