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This made me chuckle this morning when rocking up at work. Was parked in the "truck stop" next door. 

 

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Made me laugh out loud Sniff :crylaugh:

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you buggers have not suffered my jokes much lately so here goes 


Two camels, a father and son are grazing. The younger camel looks up to his father and says "Dad! Why do we have these giant humps on our backs?" The father camel looks down on the son and says. "Why, so we can travel for miles in the desert without stopping for water." The young camel looks astonished and says "Wow, I didn't know that!"
 A few minutes later, the younger camel pips up again "Dad! Why do we have really thick eyelids?" The older father, rather agitated by his son's curiosity, answers quickly. "So that our eyes are not scratched by sand storms. "Wow!" The young camel says... Another minute later and the father camel hears his son again. "Dad!". "What now!" The father camel asks. The son then asks. "Why do we have huge feet?" "Well son." The father camel starts. "We need to tread through the sand and out feet are big so we can travel much easier..."
 A few minutes pass before the father hears his son again. The father camel, clearly agitated turns round. "What!?"
 "Dad.... What  are we doing in a zoo then?


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Have you ever started to eat a horse and then realised that you weren't that hungry after all?


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Whilst in America my son and I went shopping to Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs?
 "Oh no sir, we don't sell them in the states they are a health hazard!
 "Oh" I replied " I'll just take these two assault rifles then"


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2 council workers were standing by a flag pole looking up the height. A blonde walks by and asked what they were doing, they said, " We've got to get the height of the flag pole, but we haven't got a ladder." The blonde opened her bag and took out an adjustable spanner removed the bolts and laid the flag pole down. She then got out her tape measure, and measured the flag pole, and said, " it's 18 feet and 6 inches" and she walked away. The 2 workmen looked at each other, and one said, "isn't that just like a blonde, we needed the height, and she gives us the blinking length."

 

 


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My family help Gary Barlow pay less tax. "
 "Why? Are you accountants? "
 "No, we don't buy any of his records. "


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Q: What's round and bites.
 A: A vicious circle.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

A woman takes her dress to the dry cleaners for the weekend.
The man in the launderette doesn't quite catch what she said and says 'come again'.

The lady blushes and says 'No, it's yoghurt this time'.

 

I walked in to the pub with my girlfriend last night and everybody started shouting "Paedo, paedo, paedo", I said "that's not fair, just because I'm 60 and my girlfriend is 20"


.... it really spoiled our 10th anniversary

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I was standing there, hands trembling, my wife due home from work any time now... I reached for my youngest daughter's top - it came off with little resistance. Her training bra was my next hurdle. Hands still trembling, I gently unclipped it and unable to control my hands I watched it as it fell to the floor. Her short little skirt was next, I reached out and slid it off. As I ran my hands slowly over her My Little Pony panties I could feel they were already really, really damp... Anyway, I'd better finish getting the rest of the washing in - it's raining and my Parkinsons isn't making it any easier.
 
 
 
 
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