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what's next, VTOL fighter jets on the force?

Yea, I'm first in the queue for that course

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what's next, VTOL fighter jets on the force?

Yea, I'm first in the queue for that course

Dont be silly, we cannot afford that.

before long we engineers will just be running around on the runway going "neeeeeooooooooooooow" and holding our arms out.

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Dont be silly, we cannot afford that.

before long we engineers will just be running around on the runway going "neeeeeooooooooooooow" and holding our arms out.

What do you mean "before long" you fly boys have been doing that shit since the Battle of Britain! daga daga daga daga!!!!!!!!!!!

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Her lips were saying no but her body was saying yes.

There was no doubt about it, she was an excellent ventriloquist.

At the touch of her lips,It grew long and swollen.I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly.

It was the best balloon Giraffe i'd ever seen.


Frantically I tore off her dress, bra and knickers. My heart was racing but I just managed to close the wardrobe door before she got home.

I accidentally mixed up my Viagra with my hearing aid. Now I've got a hard of hearing on.

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It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.

Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.

'Oh, sister,' said the young nun dreamily, 'I've been saved.'

'Saved? And how did that come about?' asked the old nun.

'Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.'

'Did he now?' said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, 'and Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fitted my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace.

And then Father

John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock.'

'Is that a fact?' said the old nun even more evenly.

'At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved.'

'That wicked old bastard, said the old nun.

'He told me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!.......

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Since the halal meat fiasco I have stopped buying meat at the supermarket and have been going to the local organic farm where they breed their own animals and take them to a local abattoir. If I buy a curry from the takeaway I expect it to be halal, but I don't if I buy some lamb chops from Tesco.

Last week they had no rump steak in the shop so I asked the lady to keep me a couple of pieces of rump for when I popped in today. This is what she had for me:

By the way, the ruler is a full size 12 inch one. My Man V Food challenge is back on

steak.jpg

Well it made me laugh.

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Hope you have a few mates coming round DT as if you eat all that yourself I will hear the explosion down here in Gloucestershire !!!!! :chair:

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Yeah if we start planning now, we'll be ready to make a date sometime in 2016!!

Year and Grouch might have broken his bike by then so we have some thing to fix too

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Ok who wants one of these then ? It might make your bike sound better :biglaugha:

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