DirtyDT

An Englishman visits Texas. after a couple of day he decides to visit a prostitute. He phones up and arranges to meet her at her apartment. He gets a cab there, walks in and looks around. "This apartment is massive" he says. The prostitute replies "Everything's big in Texas". She walks towards the bedroom and he follows. As he gets to the bedroom door he see's the bed. It is the biggest bed he has ever seen. "That bed is huge" says the Englishman". The prostitute replies "Everything's big in Texas". The prostitute tells the English guy to strip off. The English guy starts to take his clothes off. As he drops his boxers the prostitute looks at the English guys manhood and says........."What part of Texas are you from?"

A young bloke gets a job on a building site. The boss says it is only £100 a week but every friday you get to shag the secretary. The young bloke looks at the secretary and she is a stunner. So he takes the job. The week goes past and come friday the guys are queuing up and taking turns with the secretary. The young blokes turn comes and the secretary strips him off and gives him a W**k. "Hold on" says the young bloke " the boss said I would get sex on a friday" The secretary replies "Normally yes but we always work a week in hand"

A drunk walks into a pub and sees an old guy at the bar with a duck. The duck is standing on top of a biscuit tin dancing. The drunk is so excited he asks the old man if he can buy the amazing dancing duck. £100 changes hand and the drunk walks out with the duck under one arm and the tin under the other. The drunk gets home, places the duck on the tin and waits. The duck just stands there looking around. Very angry the drunk picks up the duck and tin and marches back to the pub. The old bloke is still there. He walks up to him and says "I got home, placed the duck on the tin and he did nothing". The old man replies "you must have forgotten to light the candle in the tin".

Try here for the small parts Here

You will need to compromise on road for more grip off road. Make sure any new tyre is meant for the road. Ones that are not are usually marked Not for Highway Use. As the ones fitted to my bike at present. See below This is the tread pattern which will give very little grip on road Have a look at the follow site which give some explanation and may help. Here

If you used "jump leads" connected a car battery and it started and ran then either your bike battery is no good and/or the connections to the battery need cleaning. Assuming it started and ran when connected to the car battery. Disconnect your battery and clean up the bike battery terminals. The metal rings at the end of the black and red wires that bolt on to the battery. Get them so they are clean of rust and muck. Next clean the terminals on the battery. The metal parts where the wires connect to on the battery. When all is clean connect the battery back up to the wires +ve is red, -ve is Black. Try and use new bolts and nuts to connect the battery to the wires. Try and start the bike. If the bike will not start reconnect the Jump leads to the car as before and try again. If the bike starts when connected to the car then your battery may not be holding a charge and needs to be changed. If when connected to the car battery you still get the clicks you will need to check all the connections to the starter motor and clean these. Including the starter motor to the engine as they often use the fitting bolts as the earth. If this does not work you need to check the starter motor itself. This can be done by taking off the starter motor and connection it directly to a battery which is working. This should then spin the internals of the starter motor. It may need changing or overhauling too. Make sure you or someone who does this is competent and knows what they are doing.

Doughnuts

Stavic and Kobar are waiting for an interview as labours. The forman calles Stavic in and says "You have to pass a simple test" so holding his right hand up he asks Slavic "Which hand is this". Stavic reply's "Errrrr....I tink it is your right hand sir". "Great" says the forman "you can start Monday. Send Kobar in". Stavic leaves the room and goes to Kobar. He tells Kobar that the forman holds his right hand up and asks which hand it is so Kobar should reply "Right". Kobar gets up and goes into the formans office. As he walks in the forman is leaning out of the window shouting at someone on the site. The forman turns and says "oh is cold out there" as he says this he wrings his hands. Kobar looks at his hands and says..................................."Oh f**k he's shuffled them" How do you confuse an Easten block worker on a site? Place 3 shovels against the wall and tell him to take his PICK

Did someone mention porn films? where.........where? It is possible that whoever invented the names for bike parts was a bit of a perv. Rear ends, nipples, nuts, autolube, rims...........The list goes on.. Mind you I went to the Doctors this morning I said to him that I was losing my sex drive. He asked when I first noticed it. I said "Twice last night and three times this morning". He gave me some Viagra cream to rub on using my finger........ It's OK but now I keep going around pointing at people.

What are speedo trunks all about? At least the mankini is funny...... on other people Mankini

Check the model is correct on this page first. Here

Just to get you home. I have ridden long distances on tubeless with this stuff in. But on a tube I would be scared of the tube shreading.

Possibly. It is an '81 according to the reg but I don't know is the honest answer. I have looked at the CMSNL parts and mine doen't seem to match any exactly. It makes it difficult to order spares online as I don't know what changes were made each year. Mine has the oil tank on the offside (right facing forward). and the carb is the older one with the 4J6 needle. It may me a bitsa.

Sorry OG

I am the Great DT'O Mind reader extraordinaire. How close was I and would it be another 175 owner who ask'ed me?

With a 5 wire mag and a 6 wire CDI mine reads 296 Ohms. Unless I got the question wrong.

It sound like a flat battery or a bad connection to the starter motor.

Anyone seen these http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/New-twin-Speedometer...1742.m153.l1262

Ride on and viking seal both work in tubed tyres.

I agree with sluggo. A loose link is the way to go. You can anglegrind or hacksaw the old chain off. If you fit a loose link then make sure that the holding clip is facing the right way. The closed side faces the direction of travel.

These look good at the bottom of the page. Here

A good idea. Or this for £4.95 but I am not sure it goes up to 180 MPH for the DT Damn. Mandp have just emailed me to say that the big one tail pipe I ordered is out of stock until 23 May. I will wait and see.

You could get a rotund (fat) person to sit on the back.

It can run on 6v and apparently straight from the ignition magneto!!. Or from it's own battery but you don't get the backlight. A friend of mine had the pushbike thing on his Ural sidecar. Cheap as chips. I am a long way off from this purchase but always worth asking.

Cheaper and easier to find then original clocks which I have not got. They look V sexy as well. Just thinking about how easy they are to nick off the bike if I fitted them though.