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mervin

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Everything posted by mervin

  1. There is a gorilla walking through the jungle and he is feeling extremely horny, hornier in fact than he has ever felt in his life. He had a row with his missus several days ago and she is having nothing to do with him in the bedroom part of the nest, so to speak. Wandering through the jungle he happens upon a watering hole, there is the lion, king of the jungle taking a drink. The lion is bent over and his tale is switching back and forth in what the gorilla finds a very sexy way. He watches the lion’s tail for a minute or so and he can no longer help himself. The gorilla charges forward, pushes the lions head down and mounts the lion. He gives the lion a right old seeing too, finishes pleasuring himself and then the enormity of what he has done strikes him. “Oh shit, I have just shagged the king of the jungle” the gorilla says to himself and runs off into the jungle. The lion jumps up and gives the most enormous roar of indignation, the whole jungle quivers with the strength of the sound. Meanwhile the gorilla is running away as fast as he can. The lion charges into the jungle roaring with all his might. The gorilla runs into a clearing where an explorer is sitting on a log reading The Times. The gorilla rips the paper out of his hands, knocks the fellow out, hides him in the bushes, dons his pith helmet and glasses and sits reading the paper in an innocent manner. He can hear the lion approaching but the gorilla is a cool customer and does not move. The lion enters the clearing rushes over to the gorilla and rips The Times straight down the middle. The lion is trembling with anger, he is after all king of the jungle. He looks at the gorilla and roars “Have you seen a gorilla” To which the gorilla cool as ever replies “Do you mean the one that fucked the lion?” the lion claps one paw over his eyes and shaking his head he says “Oh no, is it in the papers already?”
  2. A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said; I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly; "May I ask what the turkey did?"
  3. I find get the bike moving like you said and hold the clutch lever in as you ride , and then keep aplying the back brake un til it frees off works for me , i have heard of people having to strip them though
  4. get hold of Paul Dawkins he can date it
  5. mervin

    RIP Oldtimer

    ride free fella , over £200 now drewps
  6. http://www.yamahatriples.com/index.php/library/service-manuals/ http://www.biker.net/750_service/750_service main.html
  7. Nah i jus used to put it in second gear and give the back wheel a yank , that would start it
  8. never fitted then ,kickstart most probably for a different market , it usually unmissable a bloody great lever stuck out of the side of the gearbox . you need to run it downhill in gear instead to start it .i took mine off my FS1E in the seventies to save weight loll
  9. Hi Tommy fro another TDR inmate , i got 2 as well . saw the pics of the FZR over there the other day i think
  10. May help if you put the sizes and make up on here ,
  11. yes some bloke called Paul suggested i should be freinds with some bloke called Jason tonight next you need whatsapp and snapchat ,
  12. I was standing there, hands trembling, my wife due home from work any time now... I reached for my youngest daughter's top - it came off with little resistance. Her training bra was my next hurdle. Hands still trembling, I gently unclipped it and unable to control my hands I watched it as it fell to the floor. Her short little skirt was next, I reached out and slid it off. As I ran my hands slowly over her My Little Pony panties I could feel they were already really, really damp... Anyway, I'd better finish getting the rest of the washing in - it's raining and my Parkinsons isn't making it any easier.
  13. http://www.oponeo.co.uk/moto?gclid=CNLn_8u_jccCFSgGwwodAMIB-w
  14. yes i thought the same the first time i saw it mate
  15. Motul 710 is actually a 2 stroke oil as you say , but Slice it does exist , no do not put it in the gearbox/transmission http://www.opieoils.co.uk/p-923-motul-710-2t-high-performance-2-stroke-engine-oil-injector-or-premix-fully-synthetic-anti-smoke.aspx
  16. what is the frame number , first 3 letters/numbers will do
  17. Bloody RD,s are death traps , as where most late 70,s bikes TBH , especially the big kwak triples but i love em
  18. some good tips and ideas here , especially the seal driver
  19. you buggers have not suffered my jokes much lately so here goes Two camels, a father and son are grazing. The younger camel looks up to his father and says "Dad! Why do we have these giant humps on our backs?" The father camel looks down on the son and says. "Why, so we can travel for miles in the desert without stopping for water." The young camel looks astonished and says "Wow, I didn't know that!" A few minutes later, the younger camel pips up again "Dad! Why do we have really thick eyelids?" The older father, rather agitated by his son's curiosity, answers quickly. "So that our eyes are not scratched by sand storms. "Wow!" The young camel says... Another minute later and the father camel hears his son again. "Dad!". "What now!" The father camel asks. The son then asks. "Why do we have huge feet?" "Well son." The father camel starts. "We need to tread through the sand and out feet are big so we can travel much easier..." A few minutes pass before the father hears his son again. The father camel, clearly agitated turns round. "What!?" "Dad.... What are we doing in a zoo then? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Have you ever started to eat a horse and then realised that you weren't that hungry after all? =--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whilst in America my son and I went shopping to Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs? "Oh no sir, we don't sell them in the states they are a health hazard! "Oh" I replied " I'll just take these two assault rifles then" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2 council workers were standing by a flag pole looking up the height. A blonde walks by and asked what they were doing, they said, " We've got to get the height of the flag pole, but we haven't got a ladder." The blonde opened her bag and took out an adjustable spanner removed the bolts and laid the flag pole down. She then got out her tape measure, and measured the flag pole, and said, " it's 18 feet and 6 inches" and she walked away. The 2 workmen looked at each other, and one said, "isn't that just like a blonde, we needed the height, and she gives us the blinking length." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My family help Gary Barlow pay less tax. " "Why? Are you accountants? " "No, we don't buy any of his records. " ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What's round and bites. A: A vicious circle.
  20. Well done foams , good to see someone we know in the mag
  21. Yes i am not to far away from Taunton about a 1.5 hopur ride TBH, have some freoinds in the Tainton and Bridgwater VJMC up that way though Welcome mate
  22. Hmm that happened near us a few years ago , unfortuntely for the cyclist he hit the back of an agricutural trailer , nohelmet on doing about 30/40 mph down hill , he never got up again
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